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Sand is a sandy substance found on beaches around the world. It is a mixture of extremely small pieces of glass, small, granular rocks, atomic bomb, bits of shit from small children visiting the beach, and skeletons of people who jumped to their deaths from the high cliffs. It is something which your mom love to dig in and lick.

How is sand made?[edit]

An average child's sand castle.

Sand is made by very small pixies. They get large rocks then spit on them with their saliva made of acidic substances known as water and eggs. This process causes the rocks to get smaller and shrink to the size of that irresistably sexy sandy sand. But you may be asking how does this end up on the beach and under water. Well the answer to that is simple, the sand is carried using lorries. They are taken from the middle of large sewers and taken out onto the shores where they tip it off cliffs. Because the pixies are so small it takes 48,000,000,000,000,010.141 pixies to unload the sand. They will also put the sandy sand onto boats and tip it into the sea, the official figure for this is unknown as it would be fucking ridiculous.

Use as a weapon[edit]

Iraqi army used sand to wipe out Americans too.

Sand was used as a weapon by the British shortly before World War I, as something to drop on the enemy. The Airplane had been created 500 years before, and they hadn't yet thought of something to dump on the enemy (it wasn't until the second world war that they started using toe nail clippings.) "We originally thought of using spoons, but changed our minds at the last minute and switched to sand," said a General from the war in a recent interview. The British hoped to blind the enemy by getting sand in their eyes, then finish them off by dumping shit on their Grandparents.

Unfortunately, the airplane pilots were given faulty maps, and the sand was dumped across Africa and most of Asia, as well as some poor, equatorial regions. Most of the shit ended up in a crater called Britain.

By the time they realized the sand was capable of deceit, the newly formed UN began to arrest large clumps of sand. They would interrogate the lumps of sand and flush them down a cupboard made of dreams.

Sand is also the mortal enemy of boots.


Is a descriptive word for the female genitalia. i.e. I would love to spray my tears in her juicy sandbox. Many people called boxes of sand that children play in sandboxes this is in fact not true. Parents call it a sand box because they like saying naughty words for example, "Jimmy is playing in my sandbox".

See Also[edit]