Sarah Palin addresses the Australian Tea Party
Do you love Freedom? If you love Freedom, give yourself a big round of applause! Just like the Founding Fathers and the right intended! Woo! Those pot-smokin', baby-clubbin', scissor-sexin', money-wastin' traitors in the left of our society don't want freedom. They just want to tax the pocket of the hard working American (I'm sure Australians are hard working too) and bury them in a mountain of communist debt! Of course, you'd know this if you had been following me on Twitter and Facebook. I highlight this quite well in only 140 characters. Do you see CNN doing that?
Our founding fathers knew that America was the greatest country in the world. But they also knew that Australia was the 3rd greatest country in the world, right behind Israel. And the way you do that is to be free, wealthy and safe and by following me on Twitter. I've got some very important tweets there for you and your family to read. I would have read some out for you today, but they aren't as straight-talkin' without the typos.
I know those elites say you can't make a difference. That it's all too hard. But they said the same to me. And you know what? They were wrong – 'cause now I’m on FOX News! While I've been on FOX News, I've learnt some inconvenient truths about Mister Obama. Wait, why do I feel so dirty? Anyway, I was doing some journalistic digging and found out that Obama was using the profits that Bernie Madoff skimmed off his business to fund ObamaCare or more accurately, EvilCommunistUnfairBetterThanOurAlternativeCare.
Do you want a President who rubs shoulders with criminals that aren't on our payroll? I thought not. But me, I get things done legally. I'm a force of nature. You know they call me ‘Momma Kangaroo’? They do. You know why? You don't want to get between a momma kangaroo and their baby kangaroo. They get vicious! That's me. And my baby kangaroo is “Makin' A Difference”.
Let’s hear it for making a difference! Woo!
So what's the tea party about? It's not about elites, or the mainstream media not controlled by us. It's not about the same old Washington DC and the same old capital of Australia. It's about people. And it's a lot bigger than you or me, or my Facebook page which you should look at, or my Twitter feed which you should follow, or my $1000 a head dinner next month in Singapore that you should certainly try to get to. It's about our troops that keep us safe at night. And for those who are in harm's way, I promise that you will never be forgotten. We honour your service every time you guilt-trip the Left.
And mostly, it's about real Americans. And I know that's not you, but you're trying real hard and that's just great!
You know, come to think of it, Australia is ready for another revolution, just like the revolutions you had in your past, whatever they may have been. When your pilgrims first came to Australia, they were trying to get away from big government, and worship God. And I didn't see “big government” written anywhere in their constitutions or Bibles. And if it's good enough for your pilgrims and Jesus, it's good enough for me.
Yet, today, you have a President who is a communist. And he/she's been sleeping around with terrorists like Gough Whitlam and Ben Chifley. You notice how you never see her in church? I wouldn't be surprised if she's a freedom-hater! I heard that he/she has a shrine in their house that honours Stalin and that he/she gets up every day at 6 am for daily prayers. What's my source? Well let's just say that a little birdie told me.
Well, talk is not action! Except when it's in one of my video messages.
It's time for some action! Like voting for conservatives and cutting taxes. Like sending a message to those fat-cats in Washington and <capital of Australia>. That's what our founding fathers wanted. And that's what the Bible says. Amen! Follow me on Facebook and Twitter. It's time for us to take this country back once and for all! We need to do whatever it takes to free ourselves from this tyranny – even if we have to die for our beliefs! And I'll be right here, standing shoulder to shoulder with you. Well... more like shoulder-to-TV, but I'm there in spirit.
That's why our founding fathers founded this great land. Oh, and Austria too. Amen!
Thank you, maaates! Woo!