Satellite

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Satellite image showing the Earth and some other celestrial objects.

Satellite is the system used by the Government to monitor contraceptive devices for women. Each woman over the age of 21 is fitted with an IUD -- intra uterine device. This remains in place for the rest of her life, unless she receives a child license, and is permitted to become pregnant. Many women are refused this privilege, and if they attempt to removed the IUD themselves the satellite can quickly pick it up and she is detected.

The satellite was invented by Arthur C. Clarke, who wrote 2001:A Space Idiocy. The satellites are fired up into space and orbit the earth using the earth's gravitational pull. The author of the Star Trek series was also a satellite.

There are 4,067 satellites currently in orbit; one for each woman on earth. Each woman has a personal satellite that is linked through a radio transmitter to her IUD.

In the future it is planned that satellites will be used for other major purposes, such as for detecting truant school children and old people claiming two pensions at the same time.

See also[edit]