Scene Kids
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“You do realise that they are just emos with brightly coloured crayons don't you?”
~ Captain Obvious on Scene kids
“WTF, please explain how you're scene if you're not scene??”
~ pesky freak trying to become scene on becoming scene
Scene Kids are the multicoloured puke of emo kids. When an emo has tried to overdose on drugs in a failed attempt to kill itself and ends up puking all over the bathroom out of the puke crawls a little scene kid baby. Gross. They cannot consider themselves scene or other scenes will take them and nail them to the wall and release a bloodthirsty hound of preppy pink bitches on them, even though in reality they are just like these "preppy pink bitches" but with just a slightly unusual taste in style and music and their more zombified cyborg freaks.
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What do they like?
Often dressed in zebra or leopard prints. Skirts and Skinny jeans are popular among scene girls and boys. Eyeliner is often worn dark and thick. Crazy hair colours. Piercings are okay, but usually covered from their wild long colourful hair. They got their trend from emos, but dont call them that, they'll pin you to the wall and slit your throat, not literally. They indulge themselves with kidish toys and fantasies (ex. dinos, hello kitty, rainbows, crayons, plushies, etc.) claiming their immaturity though never really saying they are immature. But then again they are all really nice and if you give them a chance they will be nice.
What do they eat?
Many scene kids are vegans or vegetarians. It is not a trend - "it's a choice/lifestyle". But all us mortals know it's because if they aren't they will explode with such force that the bunny apocalypse will begin. But their excessive skinniness can also be explained by eating disorders. It is also known that sence kids both male and female enjoy eating excessive amounts of dick which explains why they never keep their mouths shut.
Habitat
You can find scene kids at the mall, movie theaters, in Hot Topic or on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook, or any other sort of socializing media. Other then these places scene kids spend 85% of their time on the interwebs chatting to their interbuddies being all but its a great possibility that they're really just sitting there chatting to pedophiles whoring themselves and trying to get internet famous. Stickam is crawling with the species. They are always found at Fall Out Boy concerts masturbating to Pete Wentz's live suicide attempts.
Sexy Stuff
Most scene kids are bisexual as this is scene kid law. If you are not bisexual other scene kids will hunt you down and eat you. [Its actually true I'm bi and scene. Peace uncyclopedians!]
Its mandatory for many scene kids to be whores. Usually they go about doing this by camera whoring, or taking multiple pictures of themselves, some pictures should include themselves in their bathroom wearing almost nothing but their underwears and posing in position where they stick out their but separate their legs and push out their chest. This is mainly for the female scene queens. We have an understanding to believe that this type of posing is to attract other scene kids sexually as part of their mating ritual.
Piercings
To attract a mate a scene kid will get as many facial piercings as possible as scene kids have tiny magnets in their bodies that will lead them to a desirable mate that has the most facial piercings.
Hair
The more brightly coloured the hair, the better the hair, and a set of dodgy £5 hair extensions are ESSENTIAL. Unlike their predecessors, of the "Emo" culture, scene kids pride themselves on having 't00tz h3ct!k' hair and would be stabbed instantly for having flat or unsickening hair. The main aim for any sensible scene is to get their hair as big as possible. Although at this current moment there aren't any conclusive studies as to why this is, many experts have estimated that it is a way to hide antennas that have been implanted in their heads. These antennas are most likely to control the minds and actions of all adolescents in 'scene commas'. One common hair dye technique scene kids use is "cooning" where a scene kid will dye stripes in its hair so that it will attempt to look like a raccoon. Kiki Kannial invented them. The reason for this behaviour is unknown. Although the perpetual use of hairspray, a five can a day habit, may actual be masking the stench let off by these half-man, half-raccoon, half-Japanese zombie beings. Although it is quite impossible to tell a male from a female in some cases. (Eg. Izzy Hilton, Jeffree Star, Kyle Hilton )
Language
The Scene language consists of random 'put-togethers' of letters and symbols that some comes out in a beverly hills high pitched voice. Scientist are still trying to translate all of the different words with our normal language. Here are a few examples:
- HEY betch wtf are you down wit on da sxe facks?! EXOH </3
- LMFAOPQRSTUVWXYZ!!!!!! zohgawd dats so stellar, myspace me and well get down and alchofuck
Names
You may often reconize a Scene Kid by their name. It will usually consist of their normal first name and followed by a random blood slaughtering or sex driving word that starts with the same letter as the first letter of their first name. Scene kids usually tend to tell everyone not to label them, because they're not soup cans. But they find it all right to label themselves by using profound names.
Examples; Deanna Death, Kristy Kaos, Dominic Destruction, Cole Condom, Lilly Little-Fuck, Kary Kunt, Fred Fuck
For female scene kids it is their life destiny to become a scene queen. Scene queens are usually internet famous and model for various agencies. Their pictures involve them doing obscene things. (ex. eating cupcakes with razors in them, shooting up, being dead, whoring, etc.
Why the colours?
Scene kids are nearly almost blind, in order for a scene kid to be able to see its own reflection in the mirror, or identify another scene kid that is a potential mate it has to dress in brightly coloured clothes and have bright colours in its hair as bright colours are the only things that scene kids can see.
Loathes
As a part of the scene kid zombie cyborg cult you must loathe many things. Such loathing should inculde: -fakers/posers -preppy abercrombie&finch bitches etc. -conforming
From great observation of scene kids its been learned that if they find a "fake" (someone stealing their pictures claiming them as theirself) ! So when they find a "fake" they add it to their "fake" count and proceed to spam and confront this "fake". Now along with fakes there are posers. (people trying to be scene, though Its impossible to find an actual full on scene kid since from our research they are close to extinction.) When a scene kid sees another supposed scene kid that they dont like they call them a poser. Meaning their trying to look like a scene kid. They will proceed to insult this poser and within this insulting
Preppy Bitches are the arch enemy of all scene kids. Though very similar in attitude. Its the way of scene kids to hate all preppy wearing bitches. Its possible their hate could just be from jealousy but most believe its because these preppy bitches are supposed whores.
Conforming is what babies are to human kind for scene kids. Its their eternal damnation. They see it as becoming what the society wants them to be "robots". But even within the scene kid selfs they are conforming.
