Guid tae see ye at the Scots Uncyclopædia, the first encyclopædia in the Scots leid!
Warning!: this article is overly scottish!
Wat be Scots?
Scots is a leid frae the Scots Lallans. Scots is alsae noon as "Inglis". Maist fowks that tak Inglish saes it's nocht but Inglish written wi orra wirds an spellins.
Scots akchtualee meens in Scots ' a ballixed up moonee raisin skeem dat nae yin shud taek sereeously, A meen joost luk at dis sentans! '
War doos it be spawkin?
Al hoomans ar born free, an um... *bagpipe music*
Wich a'cours bees tha Oorapeen declaration o' hooman rites, i tink...
Al hoomans ar born free, aleest dose dat ar Scots, fuck Gaelic, up de Inglis!!!
Wich a'cours bees tha Scots declaration o' hooman rites, mooch bettar.
A'course Scots bein such a bootiful an valid leid, it has tuns o dialects, such as:
- Oolster Scots
Na tha differans batween dees is incredibul, joost look at dees sampul!
- English : The stupid children said that scots was a made up language.
- Lallans : Tha wee daftees sayd dat Scots was a mad oop leid!
- Glaswegian : Tha wee daftys sed dat Scoots was a made oop leid!
- Edinburghee : Tha wee dafties sed tat Scots beed a made oop leid!
- Oolster Scots : Tha nat wise children said that Oolster Scots was a made oop leid!
So at dis time o' udder confoozun, sum clever gai decided hed start spawkin and writin in a Scots accent, and so Oolster Scots was barn!
Nooadays Oolster Scots is yoosed too batul against de eebil Airish leid, tayk dis conversation batween an Airish Catlick (nown in Oolster Scots as a fenian), a Proddy Scot an de Goovernment in Oolster:
- Fenian: Can we have an Irish speaking colledge please?
- Goovernment: Well, alrite...
- Scoot: Ah no! We wan a Scoots spawkin calledg!
- Gooverment: Ah its too costy, sorry.
- Fenian: (A bit anoyed) Oh, well O.K, well can we have de road signs in English and Irish like down south please?
- Gooverment: O.k then...
- Scoot: Ah no way! We wan al de road sians in Oolster Scots too!
- Gooverment: Too costy, sorry.
De battul against de Airish leid continyuus!
Yon thing called thon Interweb.
- Scots Law
- Great Scott
- Craig Ferguson
- Several shades of shit
- Things that pretend to be languages but arent