|Producers||Mel Brooks, Skippy Squirrel|
|Director||Wes Craven (nearly)|
|Runtime||Ninety (90) minutes|
|Languages||English, French, American, Transylvanian|
|Distributed by||Fox Bros. Network|
The movie opens in Paris, where a prostitute named Fanny Widelegs (Blaze the Cat) is seducing a local transvestite, Dick Alcock, and the two start smoking crack. Just as they're getting high, some hairy freak in a ghost mask hacks them to pieces and sells off their severed heads as paperweights.
Meanwhile, Cindy Truscott (Naomi Campbell), the daughter of Sidney and Gale Weathers from the previous films, is on holiday in France, and hears of the murders in Paris from her landlord, Spike Milligan (Sonic the Hedgehog). But being a sly bitch, she doesn't take a bit of notice.
That night, Cindy is attacked by a madman, who turns out to be Roger de Ghirles (Rob Zombie), a local paedophile who is dating Madame de Sexy-Bytche (Minerva Mink), a local drug-baron who was given handsome money by Widelegs and Alcock before they died. de Ghirles tells Cindy that Sexy-Bytche also supplied drugs to Billy Loomis (the original killer from Scream), which caused him to get high and go around killing people in Woodsbrothel, and now Sexy-Bytche wants to meet the killer of her clients.
Before de Ghirles can introduce Cindy to Sexy-Bytche, de Ghirles is fucked to death by the killer, and Cindy flees into the night, with nothing but a few poignant flashbacks from Scream 2 and Scream 3 for company.
In Paris, Deputy Dewey (David Cameron) has been called over from America because of his experience on the Woodsbrothel murders. Aiding him are his wife Gale Force (Courtney Cox) and an English inspector, Inspector Panties (Sherlock Holmes). They are in contact with Spike, who tells them that Cindy had gone out for a stroll but not returned. A gagging sound is heard on the phone as Spike is killed. Dewey and Gale head off to find Cindy, while Panties spends the rest of his time waffling on about self-humility.
Somewhere in France, Cindy is taken in by Rose Busch (Slappy Squirrel), an American-born gardener who grows cannabis on behalf of Madame de Sexy-Bytche, who in turn is staying at the home until the police calm down. Cindy learns that the two have been sneaking cannabis into the local zoo for the zookeepers that need a lift, and that they have been doing so ever since Sexy-Bytche was forced to cut off her ties to Woodsbrothel following the original murders. Rose Busch tries to stop Sexy-Bytche from getting mad at Cindy for the actions of her mother (Sidney Prescott, see Screams 1 to 3), with only limited success, as a full-blown lesbian orgy very quickly ensues.
Dewey and Gale then arrive in time to see Sexy-Bytche being knifed by the killer, who then chases them around the room, wounding Dewey in the crotch and maiming Gale with a feather-duster, as well as raping Rose before trapping Cindy with the aid of a net. Cindy tries to speak to the killer, who only speaks in mumbles and grunts, and appears much fatter in person. Confused, Cindy orders the killer to remove their mask and identify him or her self.
The killer reveals herself to be a gorilla named Geraldine (Condoleeza Rice), who stole some cannabis from a zookeeper and got high. Having seen one of the old Stab movies on the TV, Geraldine set out to mimic the killers at Woodsbrothel and make a name for herself as well as getting on the good side of Sexy-Bytche. Cindy disarms Geraldine with a feather from the feather-duster, and then shoots her in the head seeing as Geraldine was too high to be of much harm now.
With nearly everyone dead, Cindy has a big piss-up to celebrate killing another psychotic, and Wes Craven gets another oscar for a phoney-baloney picture.
The reception is located in the lobby of the office-block of the Fox Bros. Network. Just keep going straight on until you hit the big golden statue of Superman having his cock bitten off by a killer teddy bear.
- Naomi Campbell - Cindy Truscott
- Condoleeza Rice - Geraldine the Gorilla
- Slappy Squirrel - Rose Busch the Gardener
- Sonic the Hedgehog - Spike Milligan
- Minerva Mink - Madame de Sexy-Bytche
- Rob Zombie - Roger de Ghirles
- David Cameron - Deputy Dewey
- Courtney Cox - Gale Force
- Sherlock Holmes - Inspector Panties
- Blaze the Cat - Fanny Widelegs
- Unknown - Dick Alcock
- Your Mom - Attention Whore (uncreditted)
- This movie was being shot alongside Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle, and so most of the cast minus Lola Bunny and Skippy Squirrel appeared in this movie as well.
- Naomi Campbell broke three camera lenses in a fit of rage over one of her eyebrows falling out on set.
- Trivia sections aren't as fun as people think.
- Wes Craven had nothing to do with this movie.
- Both the gorgeous Blaze the Cat and This guy reprised their roles from this movie in the so-called comedy Date Movie 2, but were simply credited as only "Prostitute" and "Transvestite" and not "Fanny Widelegs" and "Dick Alcock" due to legal reasons.
- The character played by Sonic the Hedgehog is a tribute to Spike Milligan, the so-called "founding-father of British thrillers"
- It promotes screaming. It's makes your 'voice box' x10 clearer and Yvette Fielding would go so far to say that it is very good for your health. Then again...she has got white hair so don't trust her completely.
|The Scream Movies|