Scrubs
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“He hates that i am sexier than him”
~ Hugh Jackman on Dr Cox
“I love you more than Carla does”
~ JD on Turk
“Look out, apprentice! It's DARTH VADER! Run, and warn the giraffes!”
~ Wallace and Gromit on Dr Cox
“His name's Scooter. Short for Scooter Pie. I HATE SCOOTER PIES!!!”
~ Janitor on JD/Scooter Pies
“I like it almost as much as I like cigarettes”
~ Britney Spears on Scrubs
Scrubs is a documentary of medical screw up JD(John Dorkian) who works at a hospital. Despite being a doctor JD still fails to find his own place. This means he has to stay at his lover's(Turk's) house. Each episode has 3 or 4 sub-plots which always link up at the end with a moral that JD says outloud in his head due to his mental problem. J.D. loves appletinis, but, ironically, he's not gay. The creators are clearly not very creative as they end each episode the same way; every episode ends with a musical montage that bring the sub-plots together. J.D. explains,in a voiceover,a moral while some song no one has ever hear of plays in the background.
Contents |
[edit] Characters
- The Janitor - God fears The Janitor. He keeps an army of stuffed squirrels in his home, which he will use as the ultimate weapon to end the shootout in the final ever episode, where he finally admit that he is JD's father. He is also a professional actor who starred as a police officer on one of the episodes. The Janitor also pops up in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull where he did not play a Janitor, but isntead a random man in a suit who just happens to enjoy mopping and other janitor related activities.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian - Pasty manchild who will never actually be completely straight. Has a mental condition which causes him to narrate his own life and fantasize at least three times each episode. He secretly wants to kiss Turk's face. He drives a scooter. Due to a problem with ambiguous sexuality, J.D. is not allowed in the state of Texas
- Dr. Chris "Turkleton" Turk - Really a bear covered in human-shaped chocolate, hence the nickname “Chocolate Bear”. He has diabetes, making him unable to bring any part of his skin near his mouth, or even lick his lips. If you look closely, he has eleven knuckles, he is portayed by "black scrubs"
- Dr. Elliot "Double Frick" Reid – Twiggy mancow, only dogs can hear her voice. Has serious issues with her hair, sort it out love. She has a depressed head on her for most of the 3rd series, especially when Dr Cox makes fun of her for being a prostitute-for-clowns...... but you still definitely would.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa - Dominatrix-like Dominican, supremely bossy, and loves how much the patients love her. Contrary to popular belief, her middle name is not 'Juanita'.
- Dr. Perry Cox - Giant angry mop head, loves himself and secretly in love with J.D. Basically spends his life dealing with an assload of shit, in every sense of the word (i.e. lies, hardships and other people's faeces). Dr Cox gave up being a Vietnam platoon sergeant, a stock broker, a Surfer, a punching bag for Steven Seagal, a Marine Captain and an accessory to murder before becoming a doctor. He did temporarily leave the job to be a gay police officer for a while, though.
- Dr. Bob Kelso – Spawned by the Dark Prince in 1542, he got to be the Chief of Medicine by ass-kissing... literally. Is pimper than you.
- Jordan Sullivan - Dr. Cox's demented ex-wife, has sex with everything that moves. Likes to eat small infants.
- Ted Buckland - Bald sweaty guy who was once mistaken for a God in some parts of Canada. Ted is the Sacred Heart resident lawyer, and is the shows obligatory 'loser' character.
- "The Todd" - Re-defines the steriotype of men thinking with their penis. Every young boy's role model. Father of the Penis pumper.
- Nurse Laverne Roberts - That one gossipy nurse, the one that got hit by a car, ended up in a coma and then died, and Carla was all pissy for like two weeks, then she returns as a different nurse, nicknamed 'Lavernagain'. How do you like them apples?
- Rowdy – The preserved dead dog shared by J.D. and Turk that they practise their bumming and kissing skills with on a regular basis.
- Keith Dudemeister - Elliot's boyfriend, perpetually hated by J.D. Unfortunately, not everyone's last name lends itself to an easy nickname, the reason Keith does not have one. I belive scrubs is slowely rapeing that which use to be the good show that it was, Bill lawernce can go fuck a pig i mean come on the people who wrote season eight must have had parents and grandparents who did the same thing.
- Jason "Cabbage" Cabagio - Intern under J.D., known for his ape impression. His incompetence led to the death of everyone's favorite patient, Mrs. Wilke, and he would later be dumped from the hospital staff and go on to work in the hospital coffee shop where his continued negligence would lead to not only severe burns to his co-workers, but delicious 'Appletini' flavored coffee for J.D. He also lik- oh shit, that guys on the Jack in the Box commercials! Sweet!
- Ben Sullivan - Jordan's dead brother. Dr Cox's best friend. Used to fight Mummies and lived in the jungle. Plot spoilers have revealed that the only reason that Dr Cox is with Jordan, was to get inside Ben's pants. Due to Ben's death, this is no longer possible.
- Sacred Heart Hospital - Unbeknownst to many people, the Sacred Heart Hospital is actually a living, breathing being. It is over thrity years old and tolerates having many people walk in and out of it's body every day. But it does wish The Todd would stop humping things whilst inside
[edit] Has-Been Cameos
Scrubs is a breeding ground for has-been celebrities to make cameos for money. Eric Estrada has already been on the show over four hundred times. Other washed up celebrities who have made cameos on the show include; Michael J Fox, Bill Clinton, Robin, Shaquile O'Neal, Jesus, Audrey Hepburn and Fred Flintstone. These cameos held clues to the possible next victims of the "C-List Celebrity Killer"The Onion link
[edit] Musical Episode Controversy
On January 18, 2007, the episode of Scrubs known as 'My Musical' aired for the first time, in which extremely mundane events happen which the writers decided to turn into a musical episode so they didn't have to write a different episode. After it aired, the episode caused major controversy as viewers felt the episode was gimmicky, badly written and that Scrubs had abandoned their streak of making good episodes for no reason. Fans reacted by sending angry e-mails to the shows producers, which were ignored
[edit] Series Cancellation
In 2008, NBC began a campaign to cancel all of their most popular TV shows with no reason or point (watch out Law & Order!). Scrubs was one of the first shows to go. When fans of heard of the shows cancellation, they reacted violently, writing unflattering messages on NBC's YouTube page. Realising this did no good, they gave up. The first week after the last episode aired, NBC realised they made a mistake and felt very foolish indeed
[edit] Being Brought Back, or Whatever
ABC, a company owned by Disney decided to bag the show and steal the ratings. The company's evil tentacles interfered with the show constantly, retaining Disney's ideaology of a controlled environment.
[edit] Things You Should Know
- Dr Cox is an asshole. He's a Bag-'o'-Cox.
- JD and Turk are able to morph together into Multi-Ethnic Siamese Twins.
- Dr Cox Hates Hugh Jackman (Wolverine)
- For the last time, Turk, Carla's Dominican.
- J.D. doesn't day dream all the time, he has a tiny man inside his head that is lonely.
- 94% of all scenes in Scrubs involve someone falling over. It has been theorized that this is intentional, and there's dope in the water supply of the hospital causing lack of self-control.
- Carla and Laverne are always snapping their fingers and saying “Oh no you didn't", a ripoff of the "Mercenaries 2" commercial.
- Dr Kelso is such a bastard because his son is Peter Tatchell. He doesn't like that.
- J.D. is secretly Clay Aiken. (Oh, wait, he's not gay? Seriously? Wow. Nevermind then.)
- You secretly wish you were J.D.
- I secretly wished I was J.D.
- J.D. is believed by some to be short for Jack Donaghy from the hit show "30 Rock", except "30 Rock" came out after "Scrubs"
- Hooch is crazy
- BEN DIES
- THe Post Man Really Likes Metal, He Eats It!
- Your mum secretly wishes she were the Todd.
- Peter piper picked a pack of pickles
- Todd is a bisexual. GOOD NEWS FOR JD!
- Bob Kelso is and will always be pimper than you.
- The writer's of Scrubs are so lazy they have never given The Janitor a name and try to pass it off as a joke. (Edit. they have now given the world the name of the janitor, but it was so unfunny and so not worth it i have put this statemet in bracket)
- "Hey number one!"
- Jd has a baby mama named Kim Briggs
