Sealand

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Gargantuine Island
Principality of Sealand
Sealand
Sealand.png Sea World Logo.gif
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: From the Sea, a monster
Anthem: You're going home in a fucking ambulance
Capital Nova Luton
Largest city Nova Luton
Official language(s) Russian Gaelic, Esperanton, Gibberish (not recognised)
Government Monarchy
King Jay Leno
‑ Prime Minister John O'Cahan
‑ Governor General Bono
National Hero(es) Mick Harford, Mehul Perohit, Fidel Castro, Vincent Jones, Mark Bosnich, Mike Tyson, Rambo
Currency internet
Religion Pastafarianism(20,23%), Christianity (0, 0.5%), Spiritism (9, 28.125%), Judaism (2, 6.25%), agnosticism (1, 3.125%)
Major exports Custom cars (5 cars/$70000USD per year), oil (310 barrels/$18500USD per year), fish (28 tonnes/$8000 USD per year), salt (8 tonnes/$300 USD per year), pornography (930000 hits/$3300 USD per year)
Sealand. The sign reads: "Please, move zig for great justice"

The Most Holy and Flatulent Kingdom of Sealand is a Gargantuine Island, with the mightiest empire in the world that is located on an military platform in the northern Atlantic Ocean. Sealand is known as the world capital of Seamen. Sealand is the oldest and mightiest kingdom on earth founded by the great Swedish king Karl XVI Gustav in 800 B.C.E., just a few years before Sealand was invaded by the British army who quickly lost against Sealand's amazing military power. It is currently ruled by Jay Leno, who uses it as a place to store his car collection, while gathering taxes from the 32 known citizens of the country.

Sealand currently employs a capitalist economy based on tourism and the export of oil, fish, custom cars and pornography. It has retained a tolerant stance towards the area's aboriginal population, numbering 9 mermaids as of October 2005, and has recently given them a government-supported fish farm to live in where they can be safe from sharks, whales and israeli submarines.

The Sealand national football team is the national football team of Sealand, represented by the Danish team Vestbjerg Vintage Idrætsforening. The team consists of approximately 9 male humans, 3 mermaids, 2 raccoons, a monkey that came floating on a plank, and Jay Leno. They currently have no coach, but formerly British national coach Sven-Göran Eriksson has been linked to The Sealand national football team in various international newspapers. It is rumored, that he will receive 40% of Sealand's annual pornography export instead of regular wages. The country is currently for sale for £0 plus super tax (or nearest offer).

Sealand was also host to the Live Bril concert. Which was attended by 2.2 million people in boats which filled the entire North sea, and viewed by the entire world's population of 6.6 Billion people. Those without televisions were given them just to view live bril.

Sealand is the biggest contributor to global warming and stealing of fossil fuels on the planet.

New Sealand was started up on some island next to Australia in the 1950's, cause no one cares about that part of the world and any plan for world dominance can be hatched there (sorry Microsoft, someone got there first). But it only got known about about when the new americans came and made a film there about a thousand fish Lord of the rings. And cause the Americans are always changing S's to Z's in the English Language, it changed it's name to New Zealand. They fought for their independence from Sealand. The bloody battle lasted 5 seconds. Nowadays, New Zealand is controlled by Australia.

In modern history, Sealand is most important as the probable future home of Julian Assange, after Michael Moore posted his bail and bought him an island. The Pirate Bay will be there too, with laser canons. There will also be surprise sex.

Statistics[edit]

  • Population: 134 Jedi, 13 male humans, 10 female humans, 9 mermaids, 1 monkey, 2 raccoons, 3 1/4 Sea horses, and Jay Leno
  • Land area: 0 square kilometers/0 square meters
  • Military platform area: 0.007 square kilometers/7000 square meters
  • Total export value: $over9000USD per year