Sean Howard

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Sean Howard is the only known guy super-great enough to be credited with inventing the pixel. His other achievements include breaking the speed record of 100mg, as well as tauning Peer and getting away with it. More recently, Sean Howard has been known for his alleged theft of the internet.


Birth and Life[edit]

Sean Howard was born Baron Seanworth Binghampton Howard in 1815 in Rome, Georgia. For the first 10 years of his life, Sean lived quitely amongst in the Roman countryside. At age 11, Sean recieved a letter from a giant and went off to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he majored in Human Expression and Dance. Howard enrolled in Dartmouth as a graduate school to study copyright, but after a particularly tiring debate, the dean of students banned his IP from campus forever.

Howard started his first job at a law firm, where he quickly scientifically proved that lawyers were themselves illegal and thus put himself out of a job. As an unemployed bum, Howard went from street to street offering color design in exchange for a warm bed and a hot meal. Sean's colors were such a success that he quickly found himself becoming richer and richer. Some of Sean's most popular colors are Red, Blue, and Green.

Howard's big break came when he realized that all colors that existed were composed of the colors he created, and therefore anyone using anything had to pay him a royalty fee. In terms of gross cash income, Sean Howard quickly outstripped such figures as Bill Gates, Oscar Wilde, and Denzel Washington. Using this authority, Sean claimed that he had effectively invented the pixel. Howard took his case to the Supreme Court, who ruled initally against Howard. Howard proceeded to take the case to the Even Supremer Court, who ruled in his favor.

Howard lives today with his three sons, Screwey, Dooey, and Louie, in the state of Kentucky. Sean spends his free time roving from place to place, finding wrongs and making them right, always hopeing the next leap will be the leap home.

Controversial Theft of the Internet[edit]

Sean Howard is perhaps most noted for his recent theft of the internet, which occurred yesterday. Howard allegedly snuck into the Untied States Internet Repository, which may or may not exist, and quickly stowed the internet into a carrying case. So-called experts believe this carrying case may have been a hard drive, but Oscar Wilde was reported in a recent interview to have stated that the internet was stolen using an ordinary duffel bag.

Several major sources have stated that no one person could steal the internet, although this theory is subject to much debate, and is not widely believed. The argument goes that supposedly the internet is everywhere, which is immediately denied my most scientists because it sounds religious in nature.

The trial for Howard's internet theft has been delayed because one of the key witnesses against, Severus Snape, is being tried for the murder of Albus Dumbledore. Chief Justice George W. Bush of the Even Supremer Court believes that delegations should be allowed to continue without any witnesses or a jury.

See Also[edit]