“ "Ahhhhhh Sebulba, only a face a mother could drown" ”
“ In Soviet Russia, Jedi poo-doo's YOU!!! ”
“ SEBULBA ALWAYS WINS !!!!! ”
Sebulba, bastard son of Princess Leia and George Lucas, after a bad date rape incident. The Horribly disfigured Sebulba had a tough time growing up in upstate Nevada, until his resemblance to young Anakin Skywalker's boss in the movie, Star Whores, Episode 3, The Phantom Menage. Sebulba became one of the most loved students in his class and was once considered class clown.
Sebulba quickly got his act together and graduated top of his class. He then got accepted to the University of Southern Alabamastan.
Soon after his acceptance into the University of Southern Alabamastan, Sebulba began to follow is love for NASCAR. After the death of Dale Earnhardt, Sebulba was drafted to race for the Bud racing team. Overnight Sebulba became a national hero, winning race after race. In September of 2009, Sebulba's racing license was suspended after he flashed another competitor with his vents. Six months later, Sebulba was back at it again winning his 6th Daytona 500 cup.
Sebulba carried on in fame as a Budweiser spokesman, and his work in the movie, 300, as that ugly hunch-back dude. Sebulba soon got bored of NASCAR, and traveled across to Europe, only to get the shit beat out of him by the Schumacher brothers. Sebulba, realizing he was not welcome, returned to the land where he was rapefully conceived, Tunisia.
Sebulba began iPod racing while in the desert, and again won stardom. After only three years on the amateur circuit, Sebulba finally Won at the big Boontahs Eve race. Unfortunately by this time he was grossly addicted to opium and Morrocan Hookers. He wasted all his winnings on trash, and then.... retreated back to Vegas to live with his mother and hold his penis.
Sebulba ALWAYS wins. That's why I put my money on him.
End of an era
After returning to Las Vegas, Sebulba entered himself into re-hab, and decided to clean up. While in re-hab he started writeing his autobiograghy, SEBULBA, autobiograghy of a master ipod racer. The book was published shortly after exiting re-hab, and topped out on number two of the New Yorks best sellers list. But the world was shocked when Sebulbas bullet riddled body was found in a dumpster behind a brothel in north Vegas. It seemed that Sebulba had turn back to smack, and was shot by a Morrocan hookers pimp one cold December morning. In his pockets was a small bag of lima beans and 12 gallons of gasoline.