# Selengor

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Selengor.

Selengor or Selangor is one of the 5000 states in Malaysia aka Bolehland aka United States of Malaysia that BN will rule forever aka The Homeland of Dr. M aka The United Arabic Land of Malaysia. Selangor is established in year 1206 AD by Datuk Perwira Yang Amat Perkasa Mat Derus. The size of the state is about 50,000 KM2 which is as big as Hawaii or New York State in US. Selangor is known for its western like life-style in Arabic country such as Malaysia. Beside Kuala Lumpur, Selangor has the most colonial element

## History of Selangor

Early 13th Century of Selangor is a base for Martian and the Gould to control the trade in this region. This is proved by the discovery of Stargate near Kuala Selangor today. The Gould was eventually chased off by Datuk Perwira Panglima Garang Yang Amat Perkasa Mat Derus who led the revolt against Gould. He also received strong aid from an Indian Merchant named Selamani and a Chinese Pirate Ngor Sei Nei. Both were killed during the battle. In memory of his royal mate, he named this place Selangor (combination of 'Sela' of Selamanai and Ngor).Selangor sebenarnya negari yang cantik dan bersih. Ia sangat cantik. Saya cinta Selangor

The later history is much of a blank to Selangorian as it was peace and harmony period where Selangor has been safe from attack of foreign power. This may due to the facts that there was no expensive minerals such as black oil or petroleum was available here.

However at 1898 AD, Selangor was sold to Queen Victoria after the 3rd Sultan of Selangor lose it in a betting. The detail of the betting was kept as secret by both royal family of British and Selangor. However, old Selangor folks here generally believe that it was the betting of who will be the winner of the very first of very first Malaysian Idols, the first that before the current Malaysian Idols are launched. According to rumours, Her Majesty has place her bet on Rafidah A/P Aziz while Sultan Selamantun Bantoriana, 3rd Sultan of Selangor place his bet on a Kelantan prince named Tengku Razaleigh. As we all know today, the winner is Rafidah and the Sultan lose the control of his state for 50 years to British.

## Datuk Perwira Panglima Garang

After founded Selangor Datuk Perwira has choose not to be the king. Instead, he let the people vote somebody to be the Sultan of Selangor. As an appreciation to his contribution, there is one place in Selangor that named as Teluk Panglima Garang (which mean Gulf of Panglima Garang).

His descendant was also given special right such as the famous and holy and glorious Datuk Zakaria Mat Derus, the 17th generation of his descendants was given special right to build a designer house in slum area while all his family member was appointed the minister of Selangor and consulate of the local district office. Recent news was that Datuk Zakaria plan to let his grandson who just 3 years old to be appointed as the Mayor of Tanjong Karang, a small town in coastline of Selangor.

## Demography

There are total of 77,444,555 population according to year 2020 census. The composition are Malay 4.1%, Chinese 3.7 %, Indian 1.9 % and other races from illegal immigrant, illegal labors, illegal aliens from various countries such as Vietnam, China, American, Mars, Pluto and Germany take roughly 90 % of the population.

The existence for foreigners are essential to Selangor due to the facts that they will filled up occupation that local Malaysian or Selangorian refused to do. This are such as cook, maid, soldier, police, clerk, hawkers in China Town, company director and manager. The local people consist mostly of Mat Rempit (refer Malaysia), drug addicts, politician, government servant, participants in "Akedemi Fantasia" and "Malaysian Idols", tolls collector in tolls plaza and participants in anti-Israel protest.

## Declaration of Selangor as Ultimately Developed State

On January 1, 2005 the Prime Minister of Selangor has proudly announce that Selangor will be known as "Negeri Paling Sekali Maju" (Ultimately Developed State) in this region.

Below are some of the facts that is truly facts (unlike Chuck Norris random facts) that written by State Prime Minister Mohamad Kher Toyol aka Jawa Kia aka Jawa Toyol aka Tojo aka Darth Khil Toyobari:-

• The Annual per capita GDP of Selangor is USD 550,000 or 600 times higher than the country itself.
• The Ratio of Toll Plazas per hectar of land in Selangor is the highest in the universe. Which show the highly developeness of Selangor.
• The ratio of Starbucks cafes per ${\displaystyle km2}$ of land in Selangor is 7 times more than United States, the origin of Starbucks.But hey! Malaysia Boleh! Starfucks pun boleh!
• The ratio of Designer Homes / Houses / Bungalows in Selangor is also the highest. Which is approximately 58.6 Designer Home per ${\displaystyle km2}$ of land. The highest ratio in known world.
• The total size of mosques in Selangor is the biggest in Malaysia and OIC countries.
• The size of the state football stadium in Selangor is the biggest in Asia.
• The ratio of shopping complexes per ${\displaystyle km2}$ of land is the highest in the known world.
• Selangor manufactured and distributed 85 % of pirated software and video discs to the universe
• Selangor is the biggest buyers of replica Manchester United and Real Madrid T-Shirts in the known world.
• A toll booth every 2 Kilometres on any given road, a prove that Selangor people are rich buggers and mind you buggers exist in developed state.
• Map of Selangor looks like Shafee's sexual organ

## Food and Lifestyle

The main staple food and cereal for the Selangor popultion are the various varieties of Roti Canai (Indian flying bread). It is eaten before going to work and before they turn in to sleep. According to study from one of the more prestigious local universities, it is believed that Selangorian will not be able to enjoy their day without Roti Canai and the tarik (see annotation below). The chances of Selangorian having a good night's sleep is 792 % higher if they have Roti Canai Planta for supper.

Their main drink is Teh Tarik (Sri Lankan Tea served with sweetened condensed milk) that to be taken together with Roti Canai.

## Assholes of Selangor

Derek Fernandez is the asshole councillor of PJ representing Section 5. He was made so because he paid MBPJ 500 million rupiah and 6 box of condoms and he slept with the MBPJ ceo dog. he was the guy who took pictures of Elizabeth Wong and posted it all over the internet. Fucking cunt.

The section 5 Ultras motto : " Oh derek, we hate you yes we do, now fuck off to section 3."

meanwhile this asshole wants to use the Official Secrets Act to sue people(cos he lawyer damn big, can simply sue people)who leak information about the mbpj. (more like people leaking on his corruption activities - - hint hint what lawyer can afford two big bungalows and a volvo XC90 T5? a corrupted one ).