Shadow Realm

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A realm that you are sent to after being hit by a poison suction cup, much similar to Hades or Erebus. To be freed from this place you must pass various tests.

  1. Find a working NES
  2. Eat a whole bar of dark chocolate
  3. Play a power CQC match of airsoft in Japan with just a spring pistol

Those are the only tests we know of so far because no one has passed them all.

An Example of an ingrown toenail.

If you fail the three tests you are sentenced to life in THE SHADOW REALM. You will be faced to life of torture and pain. The air in THE SHADOW REALM is very dry which will cause your lips to be chapped. Flames are everywhere giving you severe UV burnes. There is lumpy carpet everywhere causing you to trip and get your knees burned. The legs on the chairs are uneven causing them to wobble till your head asplodes. All the computers there run on Windows 98. The only food you can acquire is McDonalds, thus making you insanley obese and rendering it impossible to escape. The only TV shows on are Oprah and the Adult Swim anime line up. Airsoft guns there are sadly limited to springers and everyone plays paintball. You can not acquire ducttape through any means. You always have an in-grown toenail and a runny nose.


You can not die in the Shadow Realm you just live in torture and pain.


This is an artist depiction of what we think Raul looks like now.

There is one and only one absolute leader of the Shadow Realm. His name is Bob(see more). He plays Texas Hold 'Em every Tuesday at the sports bar. He was raised in Washington D.C. His parents were addicts and he soon to became addicted. By the age of 16 he dropped out of school and joined the Bloods. He was arrested for attempted murder, aggrovated assault, possession of illegal substances, and drug abuse. He was sentenced to 40 years in prison but he was let out when he was 38 due to good behavior. Within a few months Raul shot and killed 5 people and was at large. He escaped to Mexico but was caught by the officials. He was sentenced to death by electric chair. He was killed November 16,1956. God had abbandon his soul and he was sent to hell. The devil didn't want him so he created the Shadow Realm for Raul hoping for that to keep him busy. But quickly the Shadow Realm became a popular place for sinners, even a few sports bars were named after the Shadow Realm.


There are many sports bars in the SHADOW REALM. Many are named after the dark warlord/drug runner Bob. Bowling is a popular sport and Bob is often seen at Hells Lanes Bowling Ally. Sometimes all the sinners abuse the slick oily surface of the lane..... nuf said. There is bingo everynight at the YMCA. The Dr. Pepper there is only made with 22 flavors, and the one missing is PCP or sugar..yeah.....nuf said yet again. There are many strip clubs there but they are all gay guys wanting to yeah.. you know...that's what I'm talking about... nuf said yet again....for the third time...seriously... I'm not kidding.. you want to go back and count... I swear it's the third time... wanna go about dis? nuf said...

Energy Drinks[edit]

Every energy drink in the SHADOW REALM are sadly sugar free... 'Nuf Said...B****. pendejo


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You can travel to the SHADOW REALM and rent a condo, hotel reoom, etc... All the hotels are Mariot Courtyards and there are many expensive hookers. There are mini bars in each hotel room and are actually moderatly priced and are not hard to replace if you prefer that.

"Mini bars are so expensive. If I ever take something I fathom that I'm going to replace it before they figure out. Do you have coke in a glass harmonica? Oh well then what about individually wrapped cashews."-Mitch Hedburg

People That Have Been Banished To The Shadow Realm[edit]

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