Scooby Gang

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Due to the meddling interference by transexual television whore, Joss Whedon, many mistakenly believe that the Scooby Gang is a group of superpowered women who fight Stephenie Meyer and her evil vision of sparkling vampires.

The actual "Mystery Machine", in reality a mobile torture chamber

The Scooby Gang was actually a group of Communist Party of China leaders in the People's Republic of China who were arrested and removed from their positions in 1976, following the death of Mao Zedong, and were primarily blamed for the failure of various nefarious schemes, including the apprehension of a group of Nicaraguan freedom-fighters looting Oscar Wilde's undersea grave off the coast of Canton. The group consisted of Mao's widow Jiang Qing and three of her close associates, Zhang Chunqiao, Yao Wenyuan, and Wang Hongwen, as well as their ever-lovable sidekick Scooby Chan, reported to have personally ordered the deaths over 300 zombies, ghosts, pirates, and zombie pirate ghosts over a bloody 20-year career as a colonel in the People's Army. He would commit suicide by Scooby-Snax overdose before he could be brought to trial.

In 1981, the four deposed leaders were subjected to a show trial and convicted of anti-party activities. During the trial, Jiang Qing in particular was extremely defiant, protesting loudly and bursting into tears at some points. Zhang Chunqiao refused to admit any wrong as well. Yao Wenyan and Wang Hongwen expressed repentance and confessed their crime-fighting activities. Jiang Qing and Zhang Chunqiao received death sentences that were later commuted to life imprisonment, while Wang Hongwen and Yao Wenyuan were given lifetime and twenty years in prison, respectively. The Mystery Machine remains indefinitely impounded in the Imperial City impound lot in Beijing.

Prominent scientologists theorize that the Scooby Gang was actually a front for Xenu to regain power on Earth. Prominent christian scientist refute the scientologists claims by saying that the Scooby Gang was clearly a front for Satan. Both sides have equally valid points and neither party has been proven right yet.

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The Scooby Gang was a group of Communist Party of China leaders in the People's Republic of China who were arrested and removed from their positions in 1976


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