Shinola

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http://www.cadenhead.org/workbench/gems/shinola-can.jpg Shinola is more of a concept than an actual shoe polish.

"Shinola is a metaphysical reality that exists as the polar oppisite of all that we know; hence the difference between shit (the waste of organisms) and Shinola is the difference between the basic, the real, and the ideal. Shinola is all that we aspire to."

Shinola is the capital of Wisconsin, which sits just southeast of the city of Cheese and just north of the city of Beer.

  • Orson Welles' untimely death was the result of a visit to a Shinolan brothel. His last words were not, as popularly thought, "Rosebud," but rather "Dammit, agh! Fuckin' syphillis!"
  • Shinola has the highest suicide rate of all three of the cities in Wisconsin.
  • The city was discovered and named by famous Mexican explorer Ponce de Leon, who was searching for the fabled Fountain of Youth. Instead, he found Shinola.
  • "Shinola" is an Algonquin word meaning "shit else." Between Beer and Cheese, Wisconsin has Shinola. Shinola does not have pussy.