Shit-Hole Shingle
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[edit] Defined
The shit-hole shingle, also known as a "tramp stamp" or "slag tag," is a tattoo placed right above the buttocks on the body of every streetwalker, fat chick, and skank. These shingles share much in common with the warning patterns found in nature as signs of danger, much like the monarch butterfly has black striations filled with bright red to warn predators that its flesh is toxic. In the same way, the asses of women bearing these shingles are toxic, bearing the trademark stench of rosemary and sun-cooked shark entrails.
In scientific experiments, objects placed near the region of a shit-hole shingle showed distinct sign of redness, decay, and putrescence. Scientist in the Netherlands have been planning experiments in which object are thrust more completely into the region. However, no person has been found who is willing to participate in the program while sober.
[edit] Origins
The origins of the shit-hole shingle are very ancient as well as old. Originally developed as a primitive hazardous substances warning, the shingle was later used on old cuts of meat and on monkeys (where it would indicate a propensity towards foul, but harmless flatulence). To this day, most primitive monkeys find them a turn on for some reason.
[edit] Today
Today, the shit-hole shingle is used to mark those women who are streetwalkers, or who most often suffer from painful, rectal itch. They are, according to Senator Joe Biden, a "cry for rectal help." In 1998, the United States Congress marked July 3 as "Shit-Hole Shingle Day," in honor of "all the struggling whores with flaccid buttocks who made this country great."
[edit] Some Famous People With Shit-Hole Shingles
[edit] Jerry Seinfeld
Before becoming a stand-up comedian, and later a star of a series of infomercials for anal grease, Jerry Seinfield prominently displayed a multi-colored shit-hole shingle while walking the streets of Newark.
[edit] Rosanne Barr
Rosanne Barr holds the distinction of having the largest known shit-hole shingle, measuring six meters across.
[edit] Claus Von Bulow
In addition to killing his wife, Clause Von Bulow had a manificent shit-hole shingle of intertwined hypodermic needles.
[edit] Minnie Mouse
She is one skanky rodent.
