HowTo:Shoop Da Woop
“what the frack!!!!!! ZOMG ”
“doctor octagonapus BWAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! ”
“IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZ0R!!1!!!!!one!!1!!!2!!”
“Bitch Please,I don't need a lazer to kill someone,I have my foot...”
Shoop Da Whooping is an age old artform, and it is important that one knows how to do it in today's fast paced, high energy world. Shoop da Whoop can be used in many different situations in many different ways. Shoop Da Whoop can cook a pizza. Shoop Da Whoop can kill 50 cent better then a tenth bullet . Shoop da Whoop can also impress a boss during a job interview. There are three main steps to Shoop Da Whoop; CHARGIN' your lazer, FIRIN' your lazer, and SHOOP DA WHOOP!
Knowing where to Shoop Da Whoop
This is probably the first thing that a person needs to learn before they can Shoop Da Whoop. You need to know when it is appropriate to Shoop Da Whoop. For instance, it is appropriate to Shoop Da Whoop at an absinth part, in front of Oscar Wilde. However, it is EXTREMELY innapropriate to "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAH" Shoop Da Whoop while in the presence of methane gas fumes, as you may asplode yourself,or others.
There are three steps to know when/where to Shoop Da Whoop.
Is it legal where you live?: This is the first thing you should ask when shooping any whoop, since Shooping da woop is illegal in over 9000 states, but not Maine, because most of Maine's jobs involve SHOOPING DA WHOOP! In any of these states, you could be severely punished for shooping or whooping of any kind.
Are There monkeys Around?: This is a VERY important question to ask yourself before Shooping da Whoop. Don't even ask what happens if there's monkeys round. It's just bad...OK, REALLY MUTHA F**KIN bad!
Are there small children/old people near by?: If so, don't Shoop your Whoop. Old people present will instantly turn into dust,and then fart pixie dust(non-magical kind),and young children will be more or less panic and run back to their overworked moms,begging them to buy the next Hanna Montana thing.
Taco's Are EVIL!!!
Tacos are the enemy of any Shoop Da Whoop. They clog up your mouth, and block the road to destroying one's enemies. See the lazer article for more details.
It is important that you keep yourself aimed at your target, or you will have a taco placed in your mouth, and you will instantly be kidnapped by the cabal. The cabal doesn't exist.After you hold your aim,assume the correct position, unless you just want to sit there with a ball of pure pwnage sitting in your mouth. Now you've gotta get ready for the next step, Firin Your Lazer.
FIRIN' UR LAZAH
Now that you have proven yourself worthy of Shooping Da Whoop, but also by reading this far and surviving all of the terrible, terrible, awful, awful jokes I have madeRedundancy. At least I haven't resorted to talking dogs to give you a warm feeling inside in the place of good jokesRedundancy.
SHOOPING DA WHOOOOP!
When your target is hit by the big ass Shoop Da Whoop lazer, several things might happen. If all went TOTALLY well, and the target, along with everyone around them, will be destroyed by the massive power that is asploding out of your mouth. Another possibliity is that the target may experience a severe feeling of uneeze and fright followed by an orgasm.
They may also be thrown from here to the end of the universe, and I mean across the universe, where Chuck Norris is waiting, where then he will roundhouse kick them once so they turn into a cloud of blood. If you saw it, you were probablly the target. They may also be immediately transformed into a wankster, baggy pants and everything. This will no doubt impress all of your friends at the loli orgy glom fest/dinner/absinth party that you are Shooping Da Whoop at, which is, without a doubt, the most appropriate place to ever Shoop Da Whoop....EVER!.
The final thing that might happen when you Shoop Da Whoop is a disasterous cataclysmic event. Well, in all honesty, it's a pretty damn good thing. All of the chavs, wanksters, preps,and other annoying pop culture groups known to man will be wiped off the face of the earth. The last time this happened is when god pulled off a massively awesome Shoop Da Whoop and wiped those poser dinosaurs off the face of the earth.
When you are done, you should take a rest,and let your lazer recharge, unless it needs no recharge time, then your a-OK!
By now, it's probably the early morning. Your sweaty, strained, bored, and angry. Your probably intensely angry that you can't Shoop Whoop yet, even after a whole night of straight practice. DON'T WORRY. Shooping da Whoop takes years to master. Even Chuck Norris had to practice a whole 0.025 times before he could shoop da whoop properly (Godzilla was born with the ability to shoop da whoop, thus showing he is king of da monstas in da hood).
Now, if you are some how 100,000,000,000^40000 times more skilled than Chuck Norris, something that is highly impossible, your probably floating somewhere in space right now, and are unable to read this, because you accidentally wiped all of existence into a black hole with your mad Shoop Da Whooping skillz.
Can white people Shoop Da Whoop?
If done correctly it should look something like these examples...