Sid the Squid
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Sidney Tentaclesius Squid II, better known by his stage-name Sid the Squid, is a cartoon loser and psychopath, with a fanbase that consists of just one stuck-up little brat from Alabama.
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[edit] Background
Sid (the serial rapist squid) was created as part of the secret military program known only as Looney Tunes, in an effort to make sea creatures move about without any real need for water. Although Sid lost 10 of his 16 tentacles, the process was a success, but ran overbudget and had to be abandoned, leaving Sid to his own devices.
[edit] Stardom
For a while, Sid made a living as the mascot for the Finsan-Scales Fishery in Louisiana, and later moved to California when it was blown up by a psychopath who thought he was Aqua Mariner. Sid landed a job in the canteen at the Warner Brothers studio, and was later offered a villainous role in several Slappy Squirrel cartoons. Sid accepted, not realising that they only put in Sid because the cartoons were only being made to keep the YWCA off their backs.
Sid appeared in only three cartoons between 1939 and 1941. These were:
- Scuba Slappy (1939)
- Kooky Calamari (1939)
- Pocketful of Squid (1941)
Sid never got on with the directors and walked out before he could be thrown out. he did, however, return for two episodes of Animaniacs alongside Walter Wolf and Beanie the Bison, two other Slappy Squirrel foes.
Sid was offered a role for a show by Niggerlodeon alongside Wooldoor Sockbat, and was to appear as Wooldoor's neighbour. Unfortunately, the show was cancelled before Sid could appear, and Sid never worked in cartoons again.
[edit] Decline
With his stardom gone, Sid moved into the underground and became a gangster, taking on a contract to kill Batman, slaughter Robin and rape Catwoman. When all three attempts failed, Sid spent his last years rotting in Arkham, scraping a few coins by posing for Hentai shots with Asian women. After five years in prison, Sid the Squid died when the Prison experienced a food shortage on Calamari night.
[edit] Retrospect
For a good long while, Sid the Squid remained forgotten to the world, as his remains had been eaten by stray cats long ago, but when he was mentioned in passing in the bestselling book How to do It with a Squirrel, historian Oscar Wilde tracked down Sid's remains to a small piece of scrap meat infested with germs overlooked by the humans and cats. This small piece of scrap meat was then buried in a cemetery where it fed a small family of maggots, and That guy was horse-whipped into writing an article for the Uncyclomedia Foundation on their online website Uncyclopedia, and the matter was then laid to rest.
[edit] Catchphrases
- I despise you!
- Some aspirin would be nice
- I hated [INSERT DIRECTOR'S NAME HERE]
[edit] See Also
- Squid
- Spongebob Squarepants - Squidward is his grandnephew
- Octopus
