“If you look really closely you can see her nipples.”
“Are you sure? Looks too pixelated to me.”
“Na man. You have to squint your eyes a bit more.”
Sierra is a state of the art software company located in Los Angeles. It was created by Ken and Roberta Williams. Until 1998, Sierra made good games, then suddenly in the winter of 1999 they all became rubbish. Rubbish I tell you! They just don't make em like they used to. Who stole my slippers?
- King's Quest: Was released in 1984 to teach people how to steal treasures, ancient artifacts and included details regarding how to score with super hot princesss. This game was an inspiration to millions and caused felonious crimes to double from 1984 to 1994. With the upcoming release of King's Quest II next spring, authorities are trying to stop Sierra from releasing the game in an effort to prevent crime rates from really getting out of hand. The princesses actually rather like it all.
- Lords of the Realm: The third game, produced in 1994 is remarkable in that it was produced by Impressions Games and not in fact Sierra. Why it is in this article, can only be due to the author being a right lazy arse, either that or the editor has no sense of humor. Anyway, it takes place in England in the dark ages. The player takes on the role of a imperialistic terrorist whose sole goal is to take over the country and turn it into a repressed, soulless country, in which people who are slaves work, sweat, and eventually die in the players mines. His soldiers rampage across the country in a massive jihad. The purpose is to train people to be leaders and help the movement of taking over the government and moving towards total servitude under one leader. I think it was anyway.
- Space Quest: Space Quest was notable because it was the only Sierra game with 142.5 sequels. Follow the tale of Rojjo Willcox, dejected space fashionista who galavants about the forbidden, "Brokeback" corners of the galaxy. Armed with only his witty late 80's humor and his trusty iron buttplug, Willcocks will stop at nothing to restore order in the deep anus of space. Rojjo is often ambushraped by shabbily placed enemies such as Ginger Kids, Pisspuddles, and Mexican Pee-Wee Hermans from the Fifth Dimension. You'll love sliding through space in search of Chico, the ruthless galactic pirate from Southwestern Wyoming. The game often came with a replicated AssTech plunger/dildo. Unfortunately, the primitive game can only be played on a Chicago-style-pizza-sized floppy disk on a surviving 1983 General Motors prototype computer, located somewhere in Reno, Nevada.
- Police Quest: Portrays the main character as a cop who protocols the local area jumping red lights, firing his gun and "giving birth to a sergeant". The game used the same game engine as both Kings quest and Space quest leading the gamer to wonder exactly how many times they were going to pay for the same game. Obviously no one actually paid for any of these games.
- Leisure Suit Larry: Was a series of six pieces of educational software produced for the American board of education to raise sexual awareness amongst teens. The game educates the male youth of America by teaching them all the necessary skills required for successfully attracting the opposite sex. In addition to raising sexual etiquette standards, the game also featured a "security system" which prevented children from playing the game. When first run the user is asked a series of questions which it is assumed only an adult would know. Unfortunately for the rest of the world many of the questions were specific to American culture and proved frustrating for non-Americans. There is a hot key which you can use to bypass the questions, but I spent most of my teens being forced to learn about pointless American game shows, and I'm too much of a bastard to tell you what it is.