Sine

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“In Soviet Russia, signs read YOU!!'”

~ Russian Reversal on Signs

“I find anything that can describe the behaviour of markets, critics, and the sexually deviant refreshingly delicious.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Reading Sines
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Sine is a type of glue that is applied to triangles to hold them together in severe storms. It has practical applications sticking geometrical shapes to one-another, amongst other things. A Sine wave is a metaphysical cushion used to soften the round curves of numbers. Sometimes also called Cosine.

Sine functions and sine waves were first used by the ancient Greeks. Sine wave was discovered by a man named Lord Henry Double-Barrelled Surname; a working class man. He first noticed the sine wave when working at the smelting factory; for smelting cows. His lesser-known colleague, Werner Heisenberg, explained the principle of Sine waves and how they could apply to mathematics; Heisenberg documented several examples where it could be used and how it could be calculated. It was with this vague description that Lord Henry discovered the sine function.

Lord Henry and Heisenberg worked several hours overtime, forging the sine wave in the smelting plant, it was this first prototype that has become so renowned world wide; today it is known as Proto-sine, which can be seen on display in the- as of yet to be completed, Museum of tomorrow. Tragically Heisenberg was found murdered in a patent office just shortly before Lord Henry was able to patent the sine function as their creation. Coincidently, this happened to be the same patent office that the Sine function was patented at, fifteen minutes later.


Sine function throughout history[edit]

The sine function was used several times during the Second World War. It was used by both the allies and the axis (and several times by the third army whose name was squelched from history) to bomb key locations that did not actually exist.

After the Second World War, the bored and then-cocky winners, the United States, entered into an arms race with the Soviet Union often call the Cold War. During the Cold War, and carrying into the Colder War, the United States center for mathemagical research invested a lot of time and money into studying how to manipulate the sine function to turn angles into lengths (today sine's primary function). The research team was lead by American hero, Nikola Tesla. Tesla and his realized that if you mash a triangle through a sine curve at a certain point the triangle will get stuck. More importantly, Tesla, in a stroke of genius realized that the distance you could travel before the triangle got jammed was unique to the angle that it got stuck on. After many experiments, measurements, and late night study sessions, Tesla came to the following group of math symbols:

He called this the "Law of Sines".

Tesla's long formula was use by the military and other businesses to make their excess of angles into some much-needed lengths. Industry in America was flourishing, unfortunately, the Soviet Union was busy developing sine's to-be arch-nemesis, Arc Sine. And thus, the Cold War raged on...