Sit
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“Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a chair, I know I might be comfortable but I keep chairs so people can sit on them”
~ Oscar Wilde on Sarah Michelle Gellar
“Sorry, it's just a habit I can't seem to get out of”
~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Sitting on people
“Sit is just shit without the "H".”
~ Lance the Language-purist on sit
Sitting is a form of body contortion, that allows one to rest, without fully lieing down, through placing ones rear end on an object or being. In recent years scientific studies have established that many shapely women look fantastic sitting down.
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[edit] Sitting Timeline
- 18000BC - First humans discover sitting quite by accident.
- 10000BC - Dawns on someone that making something smooth to sit on and maybe soft might be better than trying to sit on sharp jagged objects.
- 7000BC - People discover that sitting on animals is useful for travelling about.
- 5000BC - People realise sitting on others might be useful to stop them from getting away.
- 4000BC - Roman workmen discover sitting on their asses as an alternative to work ultimately leading to collapse of Roman Empire and a long tradition carried on to this day by tradesmen.
- 1990's - Across the EU and North America public information films are produced instructing people how to sit down amidst worries that people may have forgotten and are falling down all over the world.
[edit] Sitting methods
Xena Warrior Princess style
To sit in the Xena style:
- Leap into the air.
- Wrap legs around sitee's neck and, while twisting, use weight to throw them to the floor.
- Land on stomach with ass, use knees to pin sitee's arms to floor.
The word ass comes from the word gravitas.
Michelle Yeoh style
To sit in the Michelle Yeoh style:
- Subdue other person with lots of kicks
- Take one foot and bring it around to rest in the crook of their knees breaking legs, knock them unconscious if they are not already so.
- Land on chest with ass.
This position is common in films these days.
Sarah Michelle Gellar style
To sit in the Sarah Michelle Gellar style:
- Become a famous actress
- Someone is then paid to be straddled
- The whole having to beat the person in combat bit thus is avoided.
[edit] Variations
Variations of the above, such as an astride multiple people or the anti-authoritarian posture of letting the other person sit on you.
[edit] People who regularly sit\sat on people
- Julius Caesar
- Sarah Michelle Gellar
- Lindsay Lohan
- Jenny McCarthy
- Anna Nicole Smith
- Britney Spears
- Oprah Winfrey
- Wonder Woman
- Xena
