Slang

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Slang is part of the fucking great cycle of change that all languages experience. Words are not forever.

Languages change, and the process of change for a given word can be described by a series of steps.

  • Stage 1: An established word is modified and used by a small clique to mean something new. For example, the word "wooyayhoupla" is used by a group of hermits in Derbyshire to mean "It is a thing of beauty" while they flagellate.
  • Stage 2: The word creeps into general use. The word "norks", originally used by a few fast-handed frotteurs and felchers, is well on the way to becoming a recognized term for cantaloupes.
  • Stage 3: Dictionaries of slang terms pick up the new word and give it a limited legitimacy. People far too hincty and upsquare to ever use the word when it was in Stage 1 now begin to think about using it.
  • Stage 4: The word appears in People Magazine, or The Tattler. Your grandmother reads it, and explains it to you.
  • Stage 5: The Word is everywhere. God is heard to mutter the new Word deep in the caves of Sinai. Pygmies who cannot speak any other word of English know The Word.
  • Stage 6: The Word makes it into the Oxford English Dictionary. Now it can wear a wool suit and a dark blue tie. It is Establishment with a capital X. And it is ready to be mutated into new slang.

Slang Variants[edit]

Rhyming Slang substitutes an unrelated but rhyming phrase for a word. For example, fish-and-chips might be the rhyming slang for hips. The trick is that the slang always discards the original rhyme, and so fish would become the rhyme for hips. The rhyming slang for trolley is bowler. The rhyming slang for cunnilingus is Charlie.

Boomslang is shouted over the sound of boomboxes. "Yo homie, keep it real on the flip side. I'm 'bout to bounce off the chain and be out this piece." Boomslang such as this is now limited to the conservative bourgeoisie.

Examples[edit]

  • Atko- international sign for road rage.
  • LOL- a term used by teenage girls, translated by experts it means Lemons over Limes. Experts are doubling their studies to solve the mystery of the phrase.
  • Ghettoblaster- a term used by white people trying to be black, when experts translated it they came to the conclusion of it meaning one who blasts the ghetto.
  • American- a term used by Americans to show that they are better than everyone else, to the surprise of the american experts working on the translation this is in fact not true.
  • YO- people say this because they cant afford a whole yoyo