Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle
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Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle is a 2009 film and a sequel to the 2007 film, Slappy's Angels. The film features Slappy Squirrel, Lola Bunny, Skippy Squirrel and User:Crablogger reprising their roles for the sequel, accompanied by Minerva Mink as a new addition to the team.
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[edit] Plot
Set 2 years after the first film, Slappy Squirrel is enjoying a life of luxury since defeating Oliver Cromwell over the Uncyclopedia Scandals of 2007. She has also built a reputation for being an inactive sleuth, and has become good friends with Sherlock Holmes because of it. Having moved to the more fashionable part of the Galaxy, Slappy's life appears to be going fairly well.
As for Lola Bunny, things aren't too good. Although her relationship with Skippy Squirrel is still watertight, the huge money made from the compensation of the Uncyclopedia Scandals has made the Taxmen move in for the kill. But before they can bury the hatchet (in her head), Lola receives an urgent telegram from her friend Minerva Mink, who is modelling for a fashion show on the HMS Cocksucker, off the coast of Greece. Panicking, Skippy sends for his aunt Slappy, and they set off to Greece together.
Along the way, they meet Andy (played by User:Crablogger), who has made no friends since the first film, and has failed to make it as a professional drug addict, and has been forced to take the application of a part-time boiler on the cruise line Slappy, Lola and Skippy are travelling on. Slappy sees to it that he is freed from his contract with Josef Stalin (played by John Prescott), who has editted the contract to a Decleration of Enslavement aboard the ship. Stalin is killed when a firework is shoved up his ass, and the crew are set free.
On board the ship, Skippy finds some clues in Stalin's cabin, which are discarded tickets for the fashion show where Minerva Mink is performing. He also finds an empty packet of condoms, a pair of handcuffs and a golden necklace with the words "O.C." inscribed on them. Slappy and Lola take no notice, until Andy explains that Stalin has attended the show but left the entire crew captive on board the ship. He returned one night with the necklace, before returning to New York. Curious, the ship continues on, under Slappy's command, to Greece.
They arrive at the HMS Cocksucker late at night, which is berthed off the coast from Athens, and the show is still raging. Disguised as partygoers, the four enter the ship, and soon meet up with a distressed Minerva Mink, who carts them off into a private room with all eyes watching them. Minerva reveals that a party of Monkey Ninjas attacked the ship the night before Minerva sent the telegram, and stole several pieces of jewellry, but returned almost all of the pieces in a burlap sack, which knocked the captain unconscious when it was thrown on deck. Slappy and Lola instantly remember the Monkey Ninjas, and begin to think about what is happening.
As this goes on, a stranger starts the HMS Cocksucker at full throttle. The group head towards the bridge, where they meet up with Borat Sagdiyev, who is at fashion show for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan. They all continue to the bridge, and find Pamela Anderson at the helm, with the Monkey Ninjas around her, and the necklace in her hand.
Anderson reveals that she was once the wife of Oliver Cromwell until the arrogant bastard dumped her for Lindsay Lohan, who he had given the necklace to. Anderson now plans to kill Lohan, as well as numerous others, by ramming the speeding cruiser into Lebanon and detonating the nuclear stocks piled around the Lebanese coast. However, one of the Monkey Ninjas points out of the window, showing Lohan in a lifeboat and several pairs of stolen shoes aboard.
Slappy, Lola and Minerva begin to fight Pamela, leaving Skippy, Borat and Andy to fight the Ninja Monkeys. The ship is now rapidly approaching Lebanon, with the passengers clinging on for dear life. Anderson is easily defeated, and Slappy stops the ship just inches from hitting a WMD cleverly disguised as a Burger Bar. The Ninja Monkeys are defeated, and Borat is allowed to make Anderson his wife / sex-slave.
Lohan has been apprehended by the Lebanese police, and the HMS Cocksucker is given a fresh crew to return to Greece, where a flight is waiting to take the friends home. Slappy and Lola agree to let Minerva on the team, and so the group make a fivesome - Skippy gets to fuck Lola and Minerva while Andy gets laid by Slappy.
[edit] UnCritical Reception
The film was still a blockbuster, like the original film, but only made $399,999,999,999.99 at the Box Office, .01 cents less than Slappy's Angels, thus being considered a bomb by Hollywood. However, critics were still praising of it, even if it did bomb. Roger Ebert claimed the film was:
"Not as good as the first. I mean, neither Lola nor Minerva show their tits, but the big kablooeys and the death of Stalin are so gory and violent that it makes Armageddon look like Teletubbies."
The addition of Minerva Mink to the team, however, was considered one of the best plot twists to happen in a film sequel, surpassing other sequels in that field. Minerva commented to Variety Magazine:
"I just felt so jealous of Lola for getting to the big time that I decided to drop my porn image and go into real movies! I guess that was probably the best thing I ever did! It just shows that there's more to life than getting laid."
[edit] Trivia
- The Government of Uzbekistan refused to reprise their role as the Monkey Ninjas due to financing disagreements, so Finland agreed to fill the role.
- In the United Kingdom, the film was released via the BBC after disagreements with Disneyland Broadcasting Ltd.
- Minerva wore shoes for once in this film.
- Azamat Bagatov turned down an offer to appear with Borat due to his camera-shy nature.
- Three teacups were broken during production, because John Prescott sat on them.
- The Fox Bros. Network did not display their logo on posters due to the cost of printing.
[edit] Cast
- Slappy Squirrel - Herself
- Lola Bunny - Herself
- Minerva Mink - Herself
- Skippy Squirrel - Himself
- User:Crablogger - Andy
- Pamela Anderson - Herself
- Lindsay Lohan - Herself
- Borat Sagdiyev - Himself
- John Prescott - Josef Stalin
- Every Screwball in Finland - The Monkey Ninjas
- Mel Gibson - Socrates
[edit] See Also
- Action Movie - An action spoof featuring elements of this film
- Slappy Squirrel
- Skippy Squirrel
- Charlie's Angels
| This article is part of UnFilm
|
| Slappy's Angels series | |
|---|---|
| The Angels | Slappy Squirrel • Lola Bunny • Minerva Mink |
| Supporting Cast | Skippy Squirrel • Borat Sagdiyev |
| TV series | Slappy's Angels: 10 Seconds to Armageddon • Azamat Bagatov |
