Smurfette

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Smurfette, catalyst of extinction.
Great Smurf!

“Blue Boobies”

~ The Todd on Smurfette

“Don't you mean "Bloobies"?”

~ Red Smurf on The Todd

“I'd Tap Dat”

~ Elmer Fudd on Smurfette

“Papa Smurf, can I lick your ass?”

“Yeah, Lick my ass, Bitch”

~ Papa Smurf on a comment made while at the chocolate factory

“Your hair smells like sausage eggs.”

~ AGK on Sausage eggs TV station Germany

“You are my real tomato!”

~ Booji Boy on Smart Patrol

“She's a mammal. Smurfs don't lay eggs.”

~ Venture Bros on Smurffette

Smurfette, a blue skinned merkin of dubious morality, can frequently be found in the company of smurfs. Much has been made of the smurfs' dependence on smurfette for the continuance of their race, but scholars of woodland ecology maintain that this is merely a twisted example of cuckoldry. She is in fact an elaborate practical joke staged by the Sylvan Ccommunity at the expense of smurfkind and their despotic ruler Gargamel.

Gargamel first kidnapped a male smurf, and preformed a sex change on him, hence inventing the first ever female smurf. However people seem to forget her origins and in fact a trisexual. Making anyone who has ever looked at her with lust in there eyes a raging homosexual. Once Gargamel had completed her transformation, Smurfette was then planted there with the rest of the smurfs, probably at the urging of those fucking elves, to teach the blue-skinned vermin a lesson. One must remember that merkin and smurfs are wholly different species. While a merkin painted blue may bear a passing resemblance to a smurf, it's not the real thing and will never carry a smurfling to term. Nobody really understands what the Woodland Community have against smurfs, but the depth of their feeling suggests that whatever the smurfs did, it was pretty dire. No doubt, the squalid affair will be publicized one day, but not here. Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While Smurfette was originally intended to be the catalyst of smurf extinction, it has become clear that she may spell the end of more than one species. Indeed, Smurfette enjoys such popularity as an imaginary girlfriend that she may take a few other races down as well. In recent polls, she enjoys greater popularity amongst American teenagers than Avril Lavigne. Probably because she's more fun.

In 2010 she was featured on the controversial CBS I Spy showdown between George Bush and Saddam Hussein. Her presence ensured victory for Bush due to Saddam's color blindness.


See Also[edit]

Smurfs