Snack

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Make sure to eat from every food group!

A snack is food consumed throughout the day, between the more traditional meals. For example, a bus or handful of citizens scooped from a screaming crowd might stave off hunger for a few hours if you are planning on eating a late dinner. A recent survey revealed that 72% of American monsters snack throughout the day, especially in the workplace; numbers were somewhat higher for Japan. While conventional wisdom has long regarded snacking as unhealthy (think of your mother scolding you, "Don't eat all that livestock; you'll spoil your supper!"), it has actually been shown scientifically that snacking throughout the day increases your overall nuclear metabolism, and may actually improve your spawning drive.

History[edit]

The concept of snacking goes all the way back to the dinosaurs, who would often bring cavemen with them on long hiking trips. The reptilian descendants of the dinosaurs, such as Godzillii and dragons, still enjoy snacking on humans or other small primates. With the first Godzillian expeditions to America in 1492, it was discovered that the Native Insecticans had a similar practice of snacking on livestock while engaged in the hard work of scouring the land of all vegetation. The Mothra tribe in particular had an monsterpologically interesting practice of eating the tepees and other textile goods of the humans inhabiting their native lands. All cultures do some amount of snacking. Even space monsters have been known to snack on spacecraft and satellites.

A large variety of pre-packaged snack foods have become available recently, known (perhaps unfairly) as "junk food". These include aircraft (often with a creamy, human-filled centre, but also available with a crunchy, cargo nougat), sheds and garages in various flavours, and the popular McDonald's "Popables", obese humans sold in 4-packs and the new "Government Assistance Family 8-pack". Criticised as being unhealthy by the media, this "junk food" faces intense competition from so-called "healthy snacks", such as city parks and log cabins. Here is a recipe for a delicious and healthy snack:

  1. Peel the side off an office building
  2. Layer with various humans and animals, depending on your preference
  3. Spread on a thin layer of mayonnaise or toxic waste
  4. Roll up into a convenient wrap.