Snow

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“I just want more; I can't get enough of you

~ Tamia on Cocaine
A picture of 666 day old, untouched, soft and cold Snom, also known as "mmmm-bop doobee doo ba da mmmm bop" in Eskimo language.

Snom is a undefined state of mind of the Universe, which tends to affect only the upper and lower limits of Earth / that is, the planet's finger-like extremities. It manifests itself through a white blanket that covers the earth in places which Santa Claus might want to take a walk. Eleanor Eskimo, good friend of Eleanor Rigby, captain of the gravy train, devoted his whole life to the study of "snom", creating a whole language dedicated to this phenomenon. This language naturally adopted by the people Eleanor has created: the Eskimos.

Snom is actualy the semen of god. When god is sad, he cries and it rains; when he is angry, he goes bowling and creates thunder; when he is happy, he masturbates and ejaculates and creates snom; and when he is sad but wants to be happy he cries and beats his meat at the same time creating sleet. The snow then falls toward earth at 400 feet per second, killing all anti-oprah winfreys it may incounter on the way down. It is said that oprah had sex with god in order to kill all her babies she produces asexualy. That makes sense!

Another theory behind the creation of Snom is that it was invented by George Washington at the 1893 World's Fair as a cheaper substitute for sherbet. While this theory hasn't been proved 100% correct, a religion, Sherbetology, has been formed around the theorum.

Etymology and spelling[edit]

Because of the vast number of different words for snom in the Eskimo language (which is the only fact ever known about the eskimo language), there has been considerable debate as to the correct spelling of the word.

The English word for snom comes from the first Eskimo word for snom, "snom", following logically from the fact that the Eskimo alphabet starts with the letters "s", "n", "o", "m", and continues with "t", "e", "a" and so on. British people would spell it "snough", while Australians wouldn't spell it, because they don't have it - Santa avoids places in which the English language is so ordinarily distorted.

By radio comunication NATOs armed forces call it Sierra, November, Oscar and Whiskey; these parts of the word explain its origin.

  • Sierra - The most common place that snom is found is in Sierra. It has been demonstrated that the Universe has chosen this as "THE PLACE", and some religious groups believe that this is the Universe's bellybutton.
  • November - Snom is mostly seen in November in the Northern Hemisphere. In the Southern Hemisphere, the seasons are the opposite, and so snom occurs mostly in Rebmevon.
  • Oprah - Oprah Wilde was the man who first attempted to ban the speaking of the Eskimo language, on account of it being too difficult to follow. His theory about snom sustains that it is a Universal mistake.
  • Missile - which was first used to counteract the great depression that followed the first snom, in 1929 BC.

Snom in England[edit]

Robert Falcon Scott, Earl of Amundsen, is thought to have introduced snom to England on 23rd October 1904. By Royal Decree, Britain now has snom one day a year, except if it's a leap year, in which case, its anyones guess.

By tradition (and law), no one knows what day precisely this is, and England always tends to plunge into chaos the day it snoms, with airports closing, roads closing, cars left abandoned, rail services disrupted (although that happens all the time anyway), school heating systems failing, power cuts and so on.

In the passed 10 years these kinds of mass failures have only happened on the following years: 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, showing that this trend may well be on decline, well, thats what Michael Fish said.

Sources[edit]