Solanum
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| Solanum | ||
| ||
| Name: | Solanum | |
| Group: | Blue Man | |
| Family: | Yes. | |
| Genus: | Lentivirus | |
Solanum is a totally awesome communicable virus that causes death and reanimation, or in other words, zombification. It is neither waterborne nor airborne, but is transmitted through direct fluid contact such as being bitten, having sexual intercourse, organ transplant/blood transfusion, mucosal contact, or sharing heroin needles with a zombie. In this context, is 100% communicable and has a 100.2% mortality rate. It was first identified by Dr. Max Brooks in 2003.
[edit] Infection
Once bitten, an individual has roughly 18-20 hours to say their goodbyes before they turn into a zombie, which is hands-down the most awesome way to die, ever. Solanum travels through the bloodstream which is sort of like a roller coaster (which is also awesome), from the initial point of entry to the brain, where it uses the whimpy French cells of the frontal lobe to replicate itself (and destroys these cells in the process). During this period, all bodily functions cease; by stopping the heart, the subject is rendered "dead". The brain remains alive, but dormant, while the virus mutates its cells into a completely new awesome organ that tells it to eat people and stuff.
But the most critical trait of this new organ is its independence from oxygen. By removing the need for this resource, the undead brain can utilize, but is no way dependent on, the complex support mechanism of the human body. Once this mutation is complete, this new organ reanimates the body into a form which in some cases bears little resemblance (physiologically speaking) to the original jackass from which it uses as a host. Some bodily functions remain constant, others operate in a modified capacity, and the remainder shut down completely. This new organism is a zombie, a member of the living dead, and that is absolutely fucking sweet! Thus far, Solanum has proven fatal to all species, though reanimation only occurs in humans. But that's cool. We really wouldn't want zombie goldfish or anything, because that'd just be stupid. They'd just die again in a week anyways. Furthermore, goldfish can fucking detect Solanum and they swim away like the courageous little snacks-with-fins that they are. That's some fucked up shit right there, man.
[edit] Symptons
- Hour 1: Pain and discoloration of the infected area. Immediate clotting of the wound, provided the infection came from a wound.
- Hour 5: (99-103° F), chills, slight dementia, vomiting , acute pains in the joints.
- Hour 8: Numbing of extremities and infected area, increased fever (103-106° F), increased dementia, loss of bowel control .
- Hour 11: Paralysis in the lower body, overall numbness, decreased heart rate.
- Hour 16: Coma (like your sister).
- Hour 20: Heart stops, zero brain activity (death)
[edit] Treatment
There is no cure for Solanum. Even with no signs or symptoms of an outbreak, it is still possible to spread Solanum to your partner. But regular treatment can help prevent outbreaks so you don't spread Solanum. Ask your doctor about Valtrex today, and see if Valtrex is right for you. Please inform your doctor if you have a weakened immune system due to a bone marrow transplant, kidney disease, or you have HIV/AIDS.
Public fears regarding the contractiveness of Solanum have made it acceptionally difficult for those with Solanum to reassimilate back into society after their infection.
 further diminishing what little credibility the media had left. You can read all about it here |
