Sonning common

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“This sort of thing wouldn't happen in Borth!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sonning Common

“Two more copies of the Daily Mail please sir!”

~ A Villager on Those damn foreigners!

Sonning Common in a village in South Oxfordshire. Its population consists of 78 old people, 19 Youths, 6 ducks and one pig.

History[edit]

Sonning Common was founded by an alien race called the gregeorties in 1777, its location was kept a secret from the human race untill 1982 when Phillius Fog discovered it on his round the world in eighty days journey.

Main Claims to Fame[edit]

Sonning Common is some place that is on the Reading Buses bus routes 137 & 138.

Here is a link to the up to date bus timetable:

http://www.reading-buses.co.uk/prev/tt_reading_jan2007/137MF31.HTML

Sonning Common has several other minor claims to fame. Another prominent claim to fame is that in the average year 23 residents actually die of boredom (note this is not committing suicide due to boredom but because the healthcare centre is full of tourists - see below). The other claim to fame is The Sonning Common Space Program, which used to be centered around Churchill Cresent Park, but has been closed down (or relocated - the residents are as yet unsure). This was due, in the most part, to the duck pond becoming contaminated with rocket fuel which angered local animal rights activists, as the local drunks would regularly scare the ducks while trying to drink said fuel from the pond (local drink prices are relatively high - see below).

  • Most people in the UK associate the name Sonning Common with The Sonning Common Assossiated Members Club of 1975. This has in fact, nothing to do with Sonning Common (the town) and has thus lead to much confusion. It has been repeatedly recommended that the town therefore change its name, but each attemept has been blocked by The Sonning Common Assossiated Members Club of 1975 due to their massive political force within the UK (club officials have been known to comment that the confusion serves The Club well as it significantly confuses non-members). As yet The Sonning Common Assossiated Members Club of 1975 has refused our request to write an in-depth expose upon their activities and therefore the confusion will no doubt continue.

Tourist Attractions[edit]

The healthcare centre is the top tourist attraction

http://www.sonningcommonhealthcentre.co.uk/images/building.jpg

Sonning Common Health Centre

          Wood Lane, Sonning Common, Reading  RG4 9SW 

  Tel: (0118) 972 2188 (day & night);  (0118) 972 2745 (appts) 

Opening hours: 8.30am - 6.00pm Monday - Friday

  • Other tourist attractions

These include the many pubs which are renowned for their hefty bar prices. The Hair and Hounds, a pub in the center of the village, has an entry code requiring anyone who wants to purchase a drink to have 3 legs. All pubs in the village require a standard credit check before entering due to the price of a pint. Current average bar prices are £46 for tap water, £98 for bitter, £100.06 for cheap larger and £300 for premium larger.


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