Soul
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Souls are very much related to the dust bunny or a golem from Jewish folklore. They are animals, that is, creatures formed out of dust and vitalized by Spirit (a metabolism that makes creatures breathe). Souls can also refer to human psyches and is often confused with spirits. This confusion often causes men to foolishly assume that they are ethereal demigods, then they get horny and use people as if they were toys with the excuse that life is a joke.
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[edit] Your Soul (Yourself)
The Soul comes to exist when a creature takes their first breath. When the body dies, it's in a dormant state until they are resurrected. Many people have been allegedly deluded by a Serpent that said "you won't really die" if you rebel against the life-giving laws of the Cosmos (aka God's laws) and Earth became doomed to extinction until Jesus defeated the selfish life-rebelling nature and death. Selfish pride, which often manifests as Lucifer, is what separates souls from God and they become psychotic and eventually die (ceasing to exist). In spite of the fact that it's really the person's free choice that invites selfish pride in the first place, people often don't take responsibility for their own actions (duh! they're proud) and blame demons, which are actually busy posing as what people call "ghosts" to seduce ignorant innocent people and then attack them.
Doppelgangers are demons that assume the identities of souls, even after they have died. These demons often like to possess other people and make people think they are reincarnations. The most famous example of this took place in approximately 33AD to some preacher guy in Jerusalem... Haven't you heard about it? Come on. You get chocolate eggs if you know what I'm rabbitting on about. Apparently demons are pissed because God made us to replace them.
[edit] Sale of Souls
Contrary to popular belief, humans can mindlessly sell their soul to satan. These people are dead men walking, like most politicians (usually republicans), or the undead, which are people addicted to anything, or IB students. Are you one of these people? Are you a dying soul? Feeling left out? Go leech on good people out of envy! Bwahahahah! You'll have them sold to the devil if you catch them off guard in a jippee!
Satan and his minions like to steal the identity of souls by overshadowing them and then pose as them when they die. They love to do that, they think it's sexy. They specially love to attach themselves to you with a silver cord so you can see through their eyes and make you hallucinate what people call "astral travel" or out of body experiences, which are dreams of the devil! If they were visions from God then you would notice that you and the spirit are two different entities.
Politicians commonly sell their soul to attain positions of power, as do movie and music star-wannabes who don't have a bit of talent in their body. Jessica Simpson and her sister Ashlee Simpson are famous for having sold their soul to get record deals. Paris Hilton is known to have sold the souls of all the people hired by her father as well as her own to be able to get a movie and record deal (Satan has stated that he felt ripped off). Tim Allen is reported to having soled his soul to Satan in order to get his own TV show. But, of course, that didn't make him funny.
The big question is what really happens to a soul once it's sold. First the soul goes through Data Processing, where the name of the new owner is written on the soul in sharpie pen, then the soul has the option of being put on the open market or being kept in trading card form. Most often souls of regular people are put on the market cause they're fucking useless, while people with important abilities have their souls kept in trading card form to be used in soul battles, which are similar to Pokemon battles.
Once on the market a soul usually spends a few decades in the hands of private investors, then it will be bulk purchased by either Phil or Satan or a Neutral Party.
[edit] Where do the Souls go?
Many Christians actually believe that when you die or sell your soul, your soul is converted into a new form of fuel. The fuel is otherwise known as "lithium". This is why Christians work so hard to keep electric cars from becoming mainstream. This causes many people to believe they are deluded.
Luckily there are Christians that know the souls are merely creatures made of dust which are vitalized by spirit. At death, the soul returns to dust and will either be annihilated by divine fire on their own grave if they were an evil-minded life abusers (especially a pedophile priest!) or be resurrected to paradise in heaven if they were good people (whether religious or not).
However, there is often a discrepancy over where a person's soul goes when they die. Chuck Norris recently came up with a list of such locations, although many scientists have died proving this theory, as the only entity other than Chuck Norris capable of returning from beyond the grave is a grue. When approached for comment, a grue stated that, BBBBBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGG!!!! Shortly after this, he ate our reporter, leaving the question of the heaven/hell/other debate still unsolved.
[edit] The Chuck Norris Report
Chuck Norris found that there are a number of places for the soul to reside after the resurrection to eternal life, although some are more pleasant than others. (Kind of like apartmental housing). Chavs go to council houses where they are eternally terrorised by the spectre of Benefits Withdrawn and All Burberry Outlets Closure. They are the only people Chuck Norris would comment on, saying that there were also other, unnamed horrors in store for this race of humanity and that if he disclosed these, national anarchy would result as every righteous person scrambled to get a gun and shoot chavs to send them there. This would lead to a national gun crisis as not enough guns would be in existence, and this would be discriminating against those who couldn't get them.
