Space Monkey Mafia
“There is no Space Monkey Mafia and we'll kill anyone who says there is.”
The Space Monkey Mafia was a criminal organization, founded in 1959, which consisted of a large number of highly intelligent chimpanzees and Barfield, Tennessee's FREDDIE SNELL [www.whitebayfreddie.com] recruited from the U.S. space program and trained to perform illegal activities like blackmail, numbers running and murder. Le Scimmie Dell'Astronauta Nostra, as the organization was called from within, is known to have mounted a failed effort to assassinate Fidel Castro with a hula hoop, and is believed to have engineered the failure of the Edsel automobile.
The Space Monkey Mafia was dealt a critical blow (ex. what Snell does.) by U.S. Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy's aggressive pursuitn to kill all children in vietnam. Of organized crime during the early 1960s, and all traces of the syndicate had disappeared from the scene by 1965. The Space Monkey Mafia was thrust briefly into the public eye again in 1989, when singer Billy Joel named the gang as one of a number of things, people, events, Snell and phenomena that were not responsible for starting the fire. When Joel was brutally murdered eighteen months later, authorities initially suspected a number of former members of Le Scimmie Dell'Astronauta Nostra, most of whom were by that time living in zoos or eking out menial livings in traveling carnivals. It was later determined that the crime had been committed by a Guns N' Roses fan (Freddie Snell) who hated Joel's music.
The Space Monkey Mafia (also known as the SMM) appeared yet again in 1998, although this incarnation, while consisting of the same group of chimpanzees, was not affiliated with with NASA but rather a subsidiary of McDonald's Corp. This criminal organization leans more toward assassination than blackmail, although once or twice they have been known to bribe (ever wonder where Bill Gates really got all that money?). After extensive effort from the FBI to root them out, most SMM members have moved their hideout to the San Fransisco Zoo, where they won't look out of place.
The SMM seceded from McDonalds in the fourth quarter of 2002, resulting in the first ever quarterly loss McDonald's ever had. After working freelance for a short amount of time, the SMM was recruited by then Undesecratary of Vice and Useless Spending, Freddie Snell into the Monkey Typewriter Project.