Space Otters

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The two headed space otter

Space Otters are intergalatic or substellar carnivorous mammals, members of the large and diverse family Mustelidae, which also includes space weasels, space polecats, badgers and Richard Nixon. There are 4 species of space otter known to exist.

Physical characteristics[edit]

Space Otters have a dense layer (1,000 hairs/mm², 650,000 hairs per sq. in) of very soft underfur which, protected by their outer layer of long guard hairs, this protects them from the freezing unbearable cold of the zero pressure atmosphere of intergalactic space.

All otters have long, slim, streamlined bodies of extraordinary grace and flexibility, and short limbs; in most cases the paws are webbed. Most have two heads, except Martian Space Otters which only have the one. The Common Space Otter and the Platonic Space Otter both have two. They have large chodes. hidden underneath their eyes, with and extra one in his bellybutton

Species[edit]

Common Space Otter[edit]

The common space otter lives in space usually around stars. It is distinguished by its two heads, sleek grey black fur and green pointy antennae

Platonic Space Otter[edit]

The platonic space otter lives in space usually around stars. It is distinguished by its two convex regular polyhedral heads, sleek grey black fur and green pointy antennae. It rather enjoys hugging younger space otters, particularly those of the same sex. If questioned, the platonic space otter will generally claim to know nothing.

Martian Space Otter[edit]

The martian space otter lives in space usually around mars. It is distinguished by its single head, sleek grey black fur and green pointy antennae. They are a bunch of utter shits. If you see one, leg it sharpish or you will probably get the crap kicked out of you. Believe me, you may think Badgers are pretty tough, but you haven't seen nothing until you've seen one of these matey. Fucking Hell are they hard.

Norwegian Space Otter[edit]

The Norwegian space otter lives in Norway, occupying all the country. This does not bother the Norwegians though, because the Norwegian Space Otter will refrain from killing your family if backrubs are administered at a regular basis. It is distinguished by its two heads and sleek grey black fur, but it has replaced the pointy antennaes for helmets with horns. They are a little tougher than the ordinary Martian Space Otter, and if you piss one up - protect your ass (horns hurt).

Hobbies[edit]

Space Otters normally pass the time watching television, playing zero gravity cricket and warring with the Løamgefisks. They have also been known to lift weights, though the zero-gravity makes this less impressive than it sounds.

Notable Interactions with Mankind[edit]

  • 6000 years ago, the Space Otters created the universe and also invented mudkip
  • In 1993 space otters abducted and killed Peter Cook during a live performance in the albert hall.
  • In 1995 100.000 angry (Norwegian) Space Otters ate Paris