Sphincter

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“Oh No! my sphincter! I never thought anal leakage would happen to me..”

~ Oscar Wilde on sphincters
The great sphincters of Egypt

Sphincters are the most impressive legacy of Ancient Egypt. Rediscovered in the 1930s scientists have been probing them ever since in the hope of one day understanding their purpose. Many believe they guard the entrance to some mystical netherworld, though all exploratory digs have so far been curtailed for fear of unleashing some ancient evil from the catacombs within.

Mankind has been fascinated with them since their discovery, though a great deal of mystery still surrounds them. Legend says they are renowned for their skill with complex riddles, although they speak very quietly, so the ear must be pressed close for full effect.

Napoleon Bonaparte was apparently so fascinated with these magnificent structures, that he demanded a huge one be brought to Paris and paraded round for all to see.

Some have told of a library of ancient scrolls and knowledge of the fore-runners that lies buried underneath the Sphincter. Attempts to excavate them are frought with difficulty as the Sphincter would be prone to collapse. Funding is hardly forthcoming ass the most likely thing to be found is just some more old shit.

The most famous sphincter on the internet can be found here, and it is said that to stare into its infinite redness for five minutes is to acheive infinite knowledge. So go on. Try it.

It also appears that the people from bungie seem to have a thing for spincters, as many appear in the levels in which you are versing the Flood as doorways which smell bad.