Spidersquirrel

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“Hell hath no fury like a motherfuckin Spiderchipmunk”

~ Jesus H Christ on Spiderchipmunks

“Im still not really sure how the hell i made the crazy little motha fucka”

~ God on Spiderchipmunks

“In Soviet Russia Chipmunks are Spiders not spiders are Chipmunks”

~ Russian Reversal on Spiderchipmunks

“As a word of advice from one who has already experienced this, do not attempt to keep these in your pocket.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Spiderchipmunks
This is a typical spider chipmunk notice the victims hand .008 seconds before the creature pwns him.

The Spiderchipmunk is found in peoples walls but more commonly in the marijuana fields of Jamaica. Bob Marley attempted to capture a spider chipmunk. He intended to raise it in the ways that would teach that every little thing would be all right. He however failed and was bitten by a mouth that had a lot of nuts in it if you know what I mean.

The photo on the right side of the screen shows how big one is at about 1 day old. They however reach an immense size so large that it is led scientists to believe that it was in fact a Spiderchipmunk chewing on a wire and not the Proton Torpedo that had blown up the Death Star. Results are still inconclusive as to how the hell one of them actually got into the Death Star without anyone noticing.

There is but one unknown about the beautiful specimen of the spidersquirrel how it came to be many theories have stated that it was a genetic mix up of an experiment but in fact the real source of their being is in fact much different. You see they came to be during world war 2 in japan. No it was not the nuclear bombs ahahaha you thought it was dumb ass. It was the spontaneous combustion of a squirrel while on top of a spider that at that exact moment in time was also spontaneously combusting. their molecules fused to form the spidersquirrel we all know and love.

Spiderchipmunks are known for chasing after humans and bitting at their throats until death occurs. There have been a report 167,000 Spiderschippy related deaths and it is expected to rise over 300,000 by the summer of 2009. Their venom is known to cause hallucinations and extreme hunger as well as one of the most devastating symptoms that causes men to think Carmen Electra is ugly.

Spiderchipmunks are known to breed rapidly, being able to give birth to over two hundred young every week.

Spiderchipmunks are known for being resilient and resistent to illness. In fact, only one thing is know to kill a Spiderchipmunk. It is an excruciating proccss that involves playing the jonas brothers at high volumes, eventually causing the creature's ears to blead, and eventually make its head explode. Unfortunately, this is dangerous not only to the Spiderchipmunk, but also to any human beings within a five mile radius, as it may have similar effects on them.

mother fuck look what happens when a spdersqurriel bites a normal one!

Though very small the Spiderchipmunks have strength about 2 billion times the amount of an African Elephant on anabolic steroids. They have been known to overturn rigs with one of their hair strands and potentially crush anything under the size of a planet as flat as an anorectic pancake. Of course the world leaders had gathered to try and figure out a way of thwarting the verminsect but all President Bush could do was make a comparison between rhinos and his daughter. Thats right folks the state of the nation was at risk from giant mammal insects and all president Bush could think of was how much Rhinos look like his daughter what a noob. The leaders (excluding President Bush) devised a clever way of beating the vermin at their own game. So knowing that the Spiderchipmunks had a brain capacity well beyond their root animal the leaders entranced them in one of the most addicting substances know to man....crack. The animals found this so absolutely ecstatic that all they now cared about was playing COD4 every hour of every day for the rest of their lives. Being so entranced with the game they forgot to eat drink and, most importantly to their demise, breed. And so ended the existence of the most feared creature on the face of the earth until of course another equally ridiculous cross breed is created to take the place of it.