Spinchat

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[edit] SPiNchat - the large psychiatric unit, Online together!

Spinchat is a decreasing online chat community for sexually frustrated nerds, paedophiles in hawaiian shirts and women who are over 30 and currently taking anti-depressant medication (30plus). It was founded in 1977 by Markus Warpus III, who still owns the site today. In spinchat Microsoft users are treated as second class citizens, and are often banned on site.

Lord Markus Warpus III - in usual administration uniform. He wears this cape and smile when j00 are being banned.

History

Spinchat started off a test project by a group of German programmers who had no life and were obsessed with power and control over weak individuals. SPiNchat became famous when IRC replicated the protocols used by the spinchat system. Markus Warpus III sued every IRC user for €10 million - giving Markus & Co. enough money to write a better chat system in Microsoft's visual basic 6. (Now .NET supported).


The Forums ( which no one visits now)

The forums are heavily moderated in some areas, and not at all in others. For example, the international board is moderated by a user named 'Violent_Foliage' who stays online all night and refreshes the page every 10 seconds, incase a posting contains a bad word.She is also a filthy fucking bisexual whore who gets her rocks off by leading men on whilst playing sick games with her anorexic, drunken guinea lover Angry_pirate. In other regions, Off-Topic boards are not moderated at all - therefore fundamentalist christians and moody atheists post whatever seems appropriate. A user named 'suckerfish' moderates the Politics/Society/Religion board.


Administration post once a year on the announcments board, for a 10 second christmas greeting and a happy new year message.


Chat clients

Although there being an abundance of chat clients in spinchat - no one is happy. Noobs want more, and will even pay for it. Just to see channel text in a different color/font. ~Cyclops~ is a hardcore pluto user. Other clients are obsessed with the idea that someone fake within the forum in "out to get" them. Spinchats offical client "Royal" has ran into problems as it frequently attempts to DoS your computer.


Chat rooms

Spinchat has several chatrooms where new users (also known as n00bs) and spinchat oldies fight it out to see who has been on spinchat the longest. A heavily moderated chatroom like 'talk', has at least 10 permanent operators in there at all times. Room talk is inhabited by teenagers who are prone to epileptic seizures, this results in their fingers getting stuck on the buttons, whilsts they're seizuring, and the scrolling starts. The most popular and over-filled room 'International' is mostly full of cheap Asian sluts (who are eager to have camsex with rich American playboys) and Pakistani and Indian monkeys (who have just learned how to type and use computer). Another popular room 'Flirt' is the place where perverted and lonely guys can meet horny wet cam-sluts and have fun together.

An average day in room talk.

Server operators like to join infrequently to caress their nuts and hopefully get a few underage chatters phone numbers and home addresses. Room international has only one operator who does nothing, his nickname is Bot, the brain child of Lord Markus Warpus III.

JohnnyRingo likes to phone your kids at night.

Room international being the most popular is frequented by Anetares (a high class prostitute from north london - she takes Visa and Paypal). Anetares likes to engage in cliche sexual innuendo conversations with user -Jahova- (Administrator at spankwire.com). Sepultura is another operator who has an extremely long head like a melon and enjoys his power trips.

Sepultura focuses on his next ban.

Room Welcome! used to be a popular room until spin administration opped a large group of noobs who now ruin the chat for everybody, rumor is they are bots, because they show distinct behaviours of a bot:

  1. Ignoring the context in which words are said.
  2. Repetitive warning messages.
  3. Poor attempts at humor
  4. Online 24/7 without idling.
A typical GeekStinkBreath/Oblivion user.


There are also rooms known as temporary rooms, where sexually confused emo teenagers hang out and play with bots. Namely channel Oblivion, GeekStinkBreath and Fidelity (These rooms are run by a hippie, who likes to take pictures of his crotch, and upload them to his profile).And there are group rooms where everyone comes only for one single reason TO GET OPPED.


trolls

There are people with no life and are physically weak and get beaten in the back ally every freaking day. They come online to "troll" on people to feel strong. Trolling keeps these people alive, a few troll you should know about are War/pravu, Matt monster, blake, tom so on and so forth.


Server Operators

The server ops on spin come in many flavors. A majority being pensioners who have attached a toilet to their computer chairs so they don't have to leave when requiring to take a dump. An exception is user bufger, who was given these privileges due to his special needs condition. Legally administration must employ at least one user with mental disabilities to fulfill the 'A retard for an op' program, implemented in early 2006.

Ancientone was one of the first server ops to own a toilet chair.

Server Operator AnalOne was one of the first server ops to integrate a toilet into his computer chair.

Flooding

There are currently 12,402 registered noobs on a waiting list, all waiting eagerly to get their hands on a new flooder. The highest bids for a flooder on the windows system (where else) have reached over $2000. In the meantime they like to try and chat up programmers, to try and get them to write one. Administration have implemented a shortcut feature on the visual basic server to try and thwart flooding attempts. To lock 60% of users out of the channels. Until the timer expires and it starts again.

Spinchat n00bs will kill your family for a flooder.

Friend lists

Spinchat users have no lives, therefore they have no friends in real life. But this little circumstances doesn't trouble them much, because Spinchat gives an opportunity to add up to 1000 people in their friend list(50 now and 1000 only with vip), so they can pretend they are so cool and popular and have so many friends and they care about every single one of them.

Guestbooks

Every user on Spinchat has a guestbook where other users usually leave pointless messages and/or post glittering images, considering it very cute and pretty.

Spin gifts

Administration have setup a gift system for people to send (often) small .gif images to each other. So they can pretend they have real friends. But in fact those gifts are just a bunch of pixels and they mean absolutely nothing. Spinchat have implemented gifts like a pink donkey, a depressed polar bear, and an easter basket. Available even at Christmas time.

Way to get spin gifts

Girls have more chances to get gifts, because they can cyber and/or show their tits on cam. So if you see a girl with a vast amount of gifts, most probably that girl is a filthy cam-whore. But guys can also get a lot of gifts, if they are lucky to find desperate single girls, who hope to find real and true boyfriends there. Such girls heap up guys with gifts hoping they will return the favor and marry them one day.

Ross the polar bear who died shortly afterwards to a heroin overdose.

"Ban-on-sight"

There are so-called "ban-on-sight" users, whose IPs are in the Black List of Spinchat, and they are being permanently banned automatically. It happens because they are the only real people, honest and true, and they aren't hypocrites and don't kiss admins and operators' asses. Spinchat admins are afraid of them, thus they make everything possible to keep such people away from their dear community.


Site Updates

Spinchat has been promised to be updated for a long time, but that still hasn't come. User ~Cyclops~ throws fits from time to time because it isn't, and often cries himself to sleep about it. Today spinchat runs under the 'custard' theme - of dark orange and yellow highlights.

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