Spokane

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History[edit]

Spokane, Washington [sometimes called Spo-Canada, Spo-can't, Spo-Compton, Spo-Kansas, Spo-Kazakhstan, Spokangeles, or Spokanistan] was founded sometime in the 1800's by a man named Ol' Jim West. Jim West founded the town because he felt like making a pit stop there for miners who were mining the silver mines in Idaho, although secretly he wanted an excuse to have control over burly miners who were men.

On his death bed Jim West promised that he would one day awaken from the dead to once again rule Spokane. After the death of Jim West the town of Spokane steadily grew. Its population expanded from about ten people(1 mayor 5 whores 3 Male strippers and a guy simply know as Milly) to around 250000k people that it is today. There is something in the water that causes an abnormal amount of birth defects causing them to delete other people's Uncyclopedia pages.

As the city population grew so did the amount of land that the city occupied. In fact, the city's land holdings became so big that the city government decided to exploit half of the cities population to a 500% income tax on living. The repressed peoples who were being repressed did not like this at all. So the repressed peoples formed a citizens militia and after a bloody civil war were able to create their own city. This city would become known as Ass Valley. The word "Spokane" was included in the city's name because people did not want to forget their origins and the word "Valley" was included because it sounded better than "Spokane is Bankrupt".

Today, 99.3% of Seattle residents refuse to acknowledge the existence of Spokane. All freeway signs with Spokane listed on them are classified.It is widely known that people from Spokane are vandals. If you wake up to find you page deleted, it might have been us. So you should probably vandalize our page.

Spokane Geography[edit]

Believe it or not.(please believe) The history of how Spokane's Topagraphy is an interesting one. First let me tell you about the Topography of Spokane. Spokane is situated on the edge of something called the Columbia Plateau. As you know a plateau is supposed to be flat. Well not in Spokane. The Gods in fact used Spokane as a bowling lane. They would throw Bowling Balls repeatedly through Spokane back in the ancient times before man. They played Bowling so much that eventually the plateau formed a valley filled with lakes made from the tears of Thor(he never won and was an emo pansy). There is also a moutain in Spokane known as Mount Spokane. Many locals believe that Mount Spokane is in fact a Bowling pin that was never knocked down. The fact that there the gods played bowling for many years and were never able to knock down that pin makes many people wonder... Anyways thats off topic. All in all it is inferior to Enon Ohio(not really;).

Spokane Today[edit]

Spokane has not changed much in the last couple centuries. Although one of the original ten people of Spokane(Milly) went crazy and created thier own City State known Simply as "Millwood". Millwood has a population of 400 people and manufactures weapons for the super-secret organization that runs Spokane known as the Coals. To gain its independance the city of Millwood had to fight its won bloody war against both the City of Spokane and Spokane Valley. It is still at war with Spokane Valley and has a large military complex located on the north side called West Valley High School. 'Ol Jim West has also returned from the Grave. He now runs the city of Spokane and has recently embaresed it when he was caught having cyber sex with underage children while in his office. That event sparked much anger in the redneck locals who staged a military coup that failed horribly. In retaliaton Jim West ordered the poisoning of many of Spokanes Water supplies.

Noteable structures[edit]

West Valley High School When the Gods on Olympus agreed that something had to be done about U-Hi and all the schools in the GSL, they created WV...home of the eagles. The eagles that inhabited these schools were amazingly strong, smart and also much better looking than the other schools. The gods realized that the eagles were too perfect and tried to destroy what they had created, and they succeded making them deformed. These eagles are known to be deformed with ugly faces, unatractive bodies, and are a little dumb.


East Valley High School (aka. Easy Valley) Also know as "tickle land" it is a horrible place where people are horribly tortured by men in Green Knight Suits. It is said that the people who run the place refer to themselves as "fairies" and dress themselves up in Green Knight Suits. They then run into the surrounding community and kidnap people who they stumble into. The victims are then taken back to the compound for their initiations. The initiations, which are akin to torture, include watching the people in Knight suits fighting, and listening to the East Valley theme song over and over again. Once these people have gone through this torturous procedure they themselves turn into barbarians and become one of the People in Green Knights Armour. It is said that the only way that a person can be cured is to watch the East Valley High School sports team get PWNED by a team from West Valley High School.(thankfully this happens VERY often). How would a high school be complete without a bitter rival! That rival is


Ferris High School The worst high school ever imagineable. Students must sit in classrooms for 6 hours and learn! They actually do learn-unlike most other schools, where you can choose not to pay attention. This is largely in part to the fact that the lunch ladies sprinkle LSD, acid, ectasy and anything else they find in the medicine cabinet, into their SLOPPY JOES.


Rogers High School This school Contains of ganstas, wangstas, nerds, emos, gothics, etc. You name it they will have it. This is the scary place of town aka: Hilliard or "The Zone." Many people are scared to even be up at their high school becasue people think they might get shot. If you ever make fun of these North Side Boyz.....OHHHHH... They will beat you down. Class is only 2 hrs. long and for lunch they have cat tounge or "hamburgers" and much other nasty stuff. Thier sports Program sucked until the last couple of years they have people go there to become a gansta. This is a PFG school.


Gonzaga Prep (AKA: The Rich Bitc* School, or G-Prep) People Refer to this school as The Rich and Prepy school. Our God isnt free. He locks us up in this hoary school. They Always win because they say God is on their side It is also a Private school. EVERYONE wants to go there. If you do do there, many people out side of school will hate you becasue you are a filthy rich bitc*. This is also a Cathlolacte school. John Stockton when to this school and everyone thinks they are cool when they say they went to JS high school. I dont blame them. No one respects G-Prep Though. The only sport they are good at is Cheerlearding and being gay. I swear, the Reffs are goody-goody to G-prep and horrible to other the other team. G-Prep pays more money to the Reffs so they can call themselfs Gooood. The school is soooo small, it could be called a 2B school. It is also rotting and slowly getting worse each year. Everyone HATES G-PREP!!!!!!!!!!!!


Central Valley High School C.V. Sucks Ass


Universtiy High School So confused they dont even know if they're a university or high school, so they go by u-hi. the most hted clan in all of spokane mostly due to the fact taht everyone that goes to u-hi has either married their own cousin and have defected, 6-toed babies or have ran into the wilderness and can be seen today as those hobos that sit by the sullivan freeway entrance. In fact judging by the kind of people taht go there, they should change their name from u-hi titans to trailer trash.