Spy Movie 2
|Runtime||Eighty (80) minutes|
Spy Movie 2 is a bullshit 2025 sequel to Spy Movie by the Scary Movie crew, and the most recent of the franchise following the failure to launch Spy Movie 3. The film is rare for following the continuity of the original film rather than go off on a tangent altogether.
The plot is basically that of the first Spy Movie, because the writers wanted to make a quick buck with the sequel and just trimmed down the original script and swapped a few names around.
Set one year after the first film, Agent Twat (Tom Cruise) is summoned by Sir Oremadam (Shadow the Hedgehog), who tells him that the British diplomat in the African nation of Brogavia has gone missing, and Oremadam suspects that he has been kidnapped.
Agent Twat is paired with Rina Reynolds, alias Agent 42-28-37 (Paris Hilton), whose number is a little obvious. They parachute into Brogavia, only to be immediately arrested by Brogavian soldiers and taken before the president of Brogavia, Robert Mbolleks (Bugs Bunny).
Mbolleks, who is not the official leader of Brogavia, admits that he killed the Brogavian junta and siezed power in a bloody coup a few weeks previously, and has convinced himself that Great Britain is the reason for Brogavia's decline, even though it's painfully obvious that it's his dictatorship that's doing the hurting. He orders for the two agents to be imprisoned, and to be executed in the morning.
Whilst in jail, Twat and Reynolds discover that they are sharing the cell with the Diplomat (Winston Churchill), who explains to them that Mbolleks has gained access to the Brogavian military stores, which include some nuclear warheads Iraq dumped on Brogavia to avoid detection by the United Nations. A further discovery is made when they find that the walls of the cell are not brick, but are made of breadsticks.
Escaping from their cell, Twat, Reynolds and the Diplomat return to the palace, and eavesdrop on a conversation between Mbolleks and his aide, Vincent Deskrotom (Karl Marx), and discover that Mbolleks will bombard the United Kingdom with several Hydrogen monofalicidic Scrotumate warheads that will destroy all of the major British cities and unleash fallout that will make France, Ireland and Spain uninhabitable. (Belgium will be fine as it's uninhabitable already). Twat orders the Diplomat to steal a plane and warn London, whilst he and Reynolds save the day.
Twat and Reynolds break into the missile compound near the Brogavian border, where they find 30 missiles ready for launch, each labelled accordingly for each city to be targetted: London, Birmingham, Manchester etc. Twat and Reynolds set to work decoding the computer to stop the countdown, only to be confronted by Mbolleks and Deskrotom, who came down for a session of gay sex, only to stumble across the British agents.
A fight ensues, in which Reynolds is able to de-scrotum Deskrotom, and Twat hits Mbolleks right in the Mbollocks. Twat successfully disarms the warheads, and Reynolds leads Twat out, having set up a countdown that will destroy the missile compound, taking Mbolleks and Deskrotom with it. They jump aboard an antiquated zeppelin used as Mbollek's mode of transport, and leave safely for England as all of Brogavia is engulfed in a mushroom cloud, and all of Africa succumbs to radiation poisoning from the fallout.
Criticism for the movie was just as bad as the first, for although there was no criticism from Africa as there had been from Russia over the plot of the first Spy Movie, many were put off by the busty female agent and the re-hashing of the first movie. As Roger Ebert put it:
There's nothing wrong with busty female agents, but for goodness sake, a few sex scenes wouldn't hurt! Action is all fine and good, but there was just too much action, and not enough laughs.
Oscar Wilde was also scathing of the movie, calling it in his brief article:
About as exciting as a wooden splinter. The first movie was played for laughs, this one is played for a quick buck.
Nevertheless, Spy Movie 2 still made a total of $26,000,000,000,000,000,000 worldwide, well above it's original $900,000 budget, making it one of the highest-grossing sequels of the world, even if it was a steaming pile of shit.
Spy Movie 3
A script for Spy Movie 3 had been confirmed by Karl Marx in 2026, and internet rescources on the Uncyclopedia stated that it would feature Agent Twat going after terrorists in Iraq. Because of the sensitivity of the script, and a lack of interest in the franchise by PBS, the script was dropped, and the Spy Movie franchise abruptly ended with Spy Movie 2.
- Biggles Combs His Hair - The giant comb in Sir Oremadam's bathroom
- Carry On Penis - The rampant Agent 42-28-37
- Chip 'n' Dale: Rescue Rangers - The zeppelin Twat and Reynolds escape in resembles the airship used on this show
- James Bond - Agent Twat keeps stealing James' lines
- Howard the Duck - All of the supporting actors dropping like flies
- Indiana Jones - The Prime Minister is dressed like Indy at the fancy-dress party
- Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle - Agent 42-28-37 looks like a human version of Minerva Mink
- Spy Movie - The general plot is just a rip-off of the first
- Tom Cruise - Agent 000, Rudy Twat
- Paris Hilton - Agent 42-28-37, Rina Reynolds
- Bugs Bunny - Robert Mbolleks
- Karl Marx - Vincent Deskrotom
- Winston Churchill - The British Diplomat of Brogavia
- Shadow the Hedgehog - Sir Oremadam
- Vladimir Lenin - The Prime Minister
- Naomi Campbell - The PM's Secretary
- Kate Moss - Prostitute (uncreditted)
- Herbie - The Tank (uncreditted)