St. Catharines

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"Have you ever seen a gimp cat try to ride an ostrich..."

-Oscar Wilde on the people of St. Catharines



St. Catharines (2006 population 131,989; metropolitan population 390,317) is the largest city in the Niagara Region, impressive... I think not! They may seem like normal, simple people, but they are not. Slowly but surely they are the cause of all that is evil on the planet.


Plan Of Mass Destruction[edit]

St. Catharines' plan is already in motion. It started with the Americans, who unknowingly spread the effects for their plan world wide. The people of St. Catharines are the fattest in Canada. Living so near to the border to the U.S.A. they have easily extended their disease. As each country in the world succumbs to it new deadly fate the people of St. Catharines will lose weight and take over the planet.

They believe that they will be able to lose the weight easily because the are what they call though and are resilient. Even though they have a very high cancer rate. They also believe that because the world will be filled with the obese, there will be little fighting necessary to completely take over.OH NO:O that fat have come backkkk!

Areas Of St.Catharines[edit]

Areas Of The City

Port Dalhousie Ward[edit]

is were the main income for the whole city is brought is brought in. That is cocaine and marijuana, that is sold to the out lying areas to keep them from interfering with their world domination plan. The all-important drugs are brought for Columbia and Jamaica through the drug capital of the city.

St. Patrick's Ward[edit]

is were most of the rich live, they are the master minds behind the fat plan and are the main beneficiaries from the smuggling in Port Dalhousie. This area is the safest and most dangerous in the city, they are always on the look for those who are trying to put a stop to their plan.


St. Andrew Ward[edit]

is where most for the recruits for the St. Patrick's Ward richies are. There are the though thugs that do the dirty work. They are the ones who will show up at your house when you tease the obese and break your ankles. However they are a sad cliche of dumb thugs, they are rowdy, loud, and uneducated. Which is why they are the perfect choice for the rich St. Patty's people.


Merriton Ward[edit]

is the very understated area of the city... and for good reason. They do nothing, and have nothing, but Dairy Queen and a pool without a diving board.


St. George's Ward[edit]

is the old, as in 1980s, shopping area. there are low income houses where most of the victims of the fat plan live and have no way to escape. this area is slowly dying and is a microcosm of what will happen after the plan of St. Catharines has succeed.


Grantham Ward[edit]

is where the newly discovered plan to over through the people of St. Patrick's Ward and take over the fat plan as their own. Sadly their idea to over through the St. Patty's is not going to well because without any recruits or backup, they are doomed to fail.


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