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“Arrr Matey's, Stabbin's the Name and Stabbin be me game!”

~ Cap'n Stabbin on Seduction Stabbin'

“There is only one thing worse than stabbing, and that is being stabbed”

~ Oscar Wilde on stabbing

“fun fun fun”

~ Stabby McStabstab

“Stab first, ask later.”

~ Alexander Zainanak on stabbing

“i stabed grant with a blue sharpie.”

~ nathan on stabbing

“What part of being stabbed do you not understand?”

~ Black Mage Evilwizardington


Stabbing usually refers to when a person (the stabber) forcibly inserts a pointy object, such as a nail or a frisbee, into another person's body (the stabbee, not to be confused with Mister Stabby), creating a new hole. This often results in bleeding, monologues, and death on the part of the stabbee.


Here are some tips to help you "mix it up" when stabbing things!

Try stabbing in various different places on the human body, or repeatedly in the same place. You'll want to cover your floor in old newspapers, as this can get messy. attention people- TESTICALS that is all. Remember, stabees aren't limited to people! It's also quite enjoyable to stab animals, fruits, vegetables, lawyers and Hilary Clinton. Try and come up with your own things to stab! Stabbing yourself, however, is not recommended unless of course you are emo, wish to die, or possibly both.

Use a variety of pointy objects. We suggest you look around your home; you'll be amazed at how many pointy things can be found in an ordinary household kitchen! There are knives and forks of course, but spoons can also be used if you stab really hard. Knitting needles are also good. Try this technique: insert a knitting needle or other long, pointy object into the tear duct of the eye. This will kill them when it comes into contact with their brain, but only leave a tiny mark! Optional: Leave the stabee upright in a chair to be found by their family the next morning. Great fun at parties!

Remember, stabbing doesn't have to be quick. Draw it out and savour each second.

For added effect, the pointy object can be twisted while inside the stabee. This works especially well if the pointy object is also flat and wide, like a knife or a ruler, or with extra points- like a ruler wrapped in barbed wire! (N.B. If the object is especially barbed, expect to take some time retrieving it)

NOTE: If you are under the age of 8, make sure you get a parent or guardian to help you whilst stabbing things.

Other Applications[edit]

Stabbing can be used to defend yourself, or to destroy Brian Connor. Nothing relieves pent-up stress like stabbing a few innocent children! Kittens can also be used for this purpose.

A fun game for suicidal/homicidal Medical students who are giving their first injection- "How Deep Will The Needle Go If I Do This?!"

Emos who are bored with cutting themselves have been known to stab other people to see if they still feel.

Famous Stabbers and Stabbees[edit]

See Also[edit]

Now that you have read this article you must be stabbed. It was nice knowing you while it la[edit]

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