Star
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“We're all in the stars, but some of us are looking at the gutter.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Stars
“They're was a little spanish flee, a record star, he thought he'd be, he heared of singers like Beatles, the chipmunks he saw on TV! Why not a little spanish flee?”
~ Homer Simpson on Star
Stars are used for astronomy by scientists and astrology by Wiccans, hippies and other New Age freaks.
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[edit] Types of Stars
The great astronomer, Professor Samuel L. Jackson of the University of Whoopass has identified 3 different types of stars.
- Death Star - a metal star prone to X-wing attacks and sudden explosions.
- Unlucky Star - Stars of this type are typically small, hot, green to blue in color, and often spend hours trying to chat up a girl, only to discover that their flies are open and they have something stuck between their teeth.
- Starbucks - A star found on earth that is less hot, thus fit for the usage of normal human beings for social lifestyles and also coffee. Tastes somewhat like shit.
- Falling Star- Catch one, then put it in your pocket and save it for a rainy day. (never let it fade away.)
[edit] How Stars are Created
Stars are created when someone, usually the Prince of All Cosmos or his cousins, rolls a big enough Katamari to achieve the chemical reaction needed for the King of All Cosmos to throw the Katamari up into the sky ablaze. This Katamari will soon burn into a star. How big must this Katamari be? No one knows, although the minimum size seems to be 10cm in diameter, and the maximum upwards of eight hundred meters in diameter. Really, it all depends on the mood of the King of All Cosmos and if he wishes to have a small star or a big one. But if We had made the star regardless, We would make it much bigger.
[edit] What Can We Do To Get Rid of Stars
Write to your congressperson or member of parliament, demanding an immediate and unfeasibly large increase to the stellar erradication budget. They will immediately discard the letter, putting it into the pile of objects to be transformed into stars.
Alternately, just get the King of All Cosmos drunk or high, and the problem should take care of itself.
[edit] Groups of Stars
Some stars are by themselves. They are very lonely and usually only do what single individuals do. A number have one partner, and they can have fun together. Some are lucky enough to have two or three partners and exist in a threesome or foursome system. Those have the most fun, but sometimes one of the stars gets mad and shoots the other stars with a big space gun.
[edit] The Star Family
"Star" is also the family name for a group of several humans and other beings living in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Ellie Star (actress) is the head of this family, which includes Ramona Star, Connie Star, Bobo Star, Jinx Star, and, most famously, Hello Kitty Star. Although they are not of blood relation, they all adopted the same last name in order to express their camaraderie.
The Star Family considers themselves to be superior to all other Shape Families, such as the Circle, Square, and Dodecahedron Families. There has been many quarrels between these four Families throughout the years, but according to a poll conducted in January 2007, the Star Family is still the most popular in public opinion.
"Of course, you couldn't expect anything less," said Jinx Star on the topic, "we're just fabulous like that."
The signature color of the Star Family is pink. A typical Star enjoy sparkles, glitter, bright colors, shiny objects, and walks on the beach.
