Stay the Fuck Away

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“Staying the fuck away from lions is usually my best bet for staying alive.”

~ Antelope on Staying the fuck away
Unfortunatly, with the growing instability of the 21st century, homeowners have had to resore to extreme measures.

A defensive mechanism used by nearly all animals on Earth (with the exception of George W. Bush on Iraq), staying the fuck away was until recently thought to be a result of evolution. However, we now know that this phenomenon is the result of God's work as the ultimate ruler of everything that is useful and cool. Whenever it for some reason is impossible to stay away from something, running like hell or using extreme sarcasm is advised.

Staying the Fuck Away in Nature[edit]

Staying the fuck away has proven to be an effective strategy for animals who dislike being eaten by grues. In fact, it has recently been proven that over 50% of all animals stay the fuck away from predators.

Things to Stay the Fuck Away From[edit]

1. Jack Bauer (unless you like having your fingers broken)
2. Jack Bauer's daughter (see above)
3. Grues
4. Cartoon's of the Prophet Muhammed (unless you enjoy being suicide bombed)
5. Uncyclopedia (too late)
6. High School Parking Lots
7. Stephen Hawking (a real bad-ass mother fucker)
8. George W. Bush (if you have oil)
9. Kanye West (if you don't care about black people)
10. Strangers (unless they have candy)
11. Aruba (if you're a high school student)
12. Blood (if you're a Crip)
13. Crips (if you're a Blood)
14. Me (don't come close, there's a bomb on my back and it's going to explode!)
15. Steve Ballmer (if you use Linux, Mozilla Firefox, Google and/or OpenOffice or, God forbid, are using a pirated copy of Windows XP or Vista)
16. Michael Jackson
17. Chuck Norris (Obviously)
18. Fred Phelps
19. 4Chan
20. NUKES
21. Encyclopedia Dramatica
22. This page


Of course, we have made sure you can easily stay the fuck away from these by providing links.