“Once I get elected prime minister, I will devise a secret plan with the Liberals to make French the official language of Canada, and English will be no more!”
“A politician who cannot speak English correctly yet wants to rule Canada and the brother of pop singer Celine Dion. Both large qualities of a great leader.”
“I was born in Canada, the best countriè in the world, but still unable to speak English.”
Stéphane Céline Dion (born September 38, 1865 in Quebec) is a Canadian politician, renowned pop singer and generally rather pleasant man. He was the winner of the 1988 Eurovision Song Contest and the leader of the Liberal Party from 2006 to 2008. He's best known for his songs "My Heart Will Go On", "A New Law Has Come" and "Do You Think Its Easy To Make Priorities".
Childhood and early years
Dion was born in a small town of Brûlez Dans L'enfer, Quebec, as the youngest of fourteen children. His mother, Denyse le Hamster, was a real estate agent from Paris, France, and his father, Baies de Sureau Dion, hosted cooking shows for TVA, a Canadian French language television network. Flamboyant and determined, he pursued his obsessions of fame and fortune from early on. His achievements included the title of Hallway Monitor at the Brûlez Dans L'enfer Preschool for Differently Talented Children, and a role as a sheep in a Christmas nativity play.
After an embarrassingly unsuccessful stint as a suicide bomber with Quebec Separatist Hippie Brigade, a Christian bible study group, he embraced federalism and joined the Liberal Party of Canada. Ruthlessly using his success as a popstar and charming manners for his advantage, he quickly climbed the ladder of political power. Seizing the liberal leadership in a semi-violent coup d’état in 2006, he led the party to a bloody battle in the 2008 Canadian federal election. The Liberal forces were nearly decimated by Stephen Harper, the commander-in-chief of the Conservative Party of Canada.
Disappearance from politics
After facing harsh criticism from his former ninja allies, Dion wrote a melancholic song about himself and his struggles. Titled "Dithering Egghead", he performed it to the parliament in October 20th, 2008. Breaking into tears during the last chorus, his organ was stolen and his organs were harvested and fed to the great and powerfull President of Canada, Stephen Harper. Right now, he/she/it/what remains of him is in the wardrobe of Count Michael Ignatieff, who still feasts on the last elected Liberal leader to regain his own powers and maintain his current station.
Return to music
He is mainly known for his political love ballad songs. His new album will discuss topics such as tax and the English language. The title is expected to be "The Colour of My Party" and the single will be "Let's Talk About Tax".
- The Power of Tax (2001)
- Because You Voted For Me (this is what you get Conservatives) (2003)
- Beauty and the Beast (a duet with Stephen Harper) (2006)