Steve 'Arris

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Steve 'Arris is mowst well nown fer discov'rin the 666kff elemen' on thu peeriodik taybull, Eyeon May-dun. 'E discuvad this elemen' in thu pubsa Ingland durin' the yeyer nine'een-seven'ee-foive an' immediatlee set ofta mine thu elemen'.

When 'e wos a sorsepan, 'e wos mer-see-luss-lee teazed by uva's coz of a speech impedimen', whot cawzed 'im ter drop 'is a-chiz, 'mung uvva fingz. In desp'raishun, Steve 'Arris consultid a speech ferapist, but 'e wos a Cockernee too, So 'Arry wos fuck'd.

'Arry wivviz pik-akz, redee ter miyne.

It took five Donkees fer 'Arris ter assembul a propa minin' crew fanks ter randum ay-le-un abdukshuns, attendin' the churcha Saytan, killin' ninjuz an' findin' thu riyt ekwipmen'. By nine'een-ayetee, 'e 'ad fownd 'is dreem teamuv minaz which incloodid 'imself, Pawl Dee'Annow, Dave Murree, Cliyv Burr, an' Dennis Stra'on. Thu five Bri'ish men was in their erlee twennies at thu starta their minin' ka-reeyer.

Afta their firs' attemp' at minin' thu 666kff elemen', Dennis Stra'on wos arskt ter leeve. The mayne reeson wos coz Stra'on wos lookin' for thu "six-'undred-an'-sixty-forff" elemen', but real fansa Eyeon May-dun no that sayin' it wos “dif'renciz” wos simplee a porkie. The troof is that Stra'on miss-teer-ee-us-lee dyed by choakin' on wallice, but not 'is own wallice. F'rensic evidense 'as suggestid that the groop's maskot, Edward T. 'ed is ter blayme, but nuffink is definitiv.

Afta Stra'on "left" the band, Adreeyan Smiff wos askta joyne 'em, and 'ave a butcher's for the eloosiv "six-'undred-an'-sixtee-sikff" elemen'. Afta a suksessful attemp' at minin' wiv thu groop KISS an' sev'ral uva bands ooo wos in 'ot pursoot ov their own metals, Pawl Dee'Annow wos kikk'd bodily outta the groops's taw bus, thus killin' thu singa iniz priyme. In an effat ter mayk this seem maw ree-zun-a-bull, 'Arris explayned that Dee'Annow wos a drugiee and 'is usidj wos 'avin' a nega'ive affekt on thu ban's attempta find this 666kff elemen'.

Wivawt a fiff memba, 'Arris wos pressta find a ree-plase-men' faw Dee'annow. He fownd Broos Dickinson, an', awl-tho 'e wazza scummy nor-va-ner, 'e redalee 'elpt 'Arris mine thu 666kff elemen'.

In nine'een-aitey-foar, wiv Broos on bawd, the banda minaz faanda large amounta thu elemen' in the re-caw-din' stew-dee-oh. In an effut ter find maw, thay immeediatlee wennawt on taw ter see if there wos any maw. Thu troof wos that the elemen' wos awl ova thu place. In fakt, it seemed to foller 'em all ova thu park.

Eva sinse the discuv'ree of thu elemen', Eyeon May-dun 'as foller'd Steve 'Arris awl 'rawnd the wurld. Riz-urvz of thu elemen' still ekzis' ter-day in grate fawce, per'aps rabidlee so. Steve 'Arris 'as been a-trib-ewe-ted az bein' thu main reasun that thu elemen' wos so abundant. 'Is bass lines an' Dickies attrac'ed thu elemen' by the 'undreds, may-bee even the fousands. PHWOUR!

Wyle 'Arris is not minin' Eyeon May-dun 'e is an avid fana footee. 'E is awlso sed ter beya devel worshippa, but 'e dee-niyz awl clayms of such ak-tiv-a'ees, dismissin' 'em as "Utta terkish".

He is the god of bass

An' if yoora illi'erat Amerikn, 'av a butchers at: Steve Harris (US) He is the god of bass