Steve Buscemi (b. 1957) is a dude playing a dude, pretending to be another dude, disguised as a woman impersonating the dude who's fucking Ben Affleck's poker coach. He is best known for his roles (scumwads, fuckmooks, losers, weirdos, and wiseguys) which bring about lots of unkind comments. Ironically, most people who know him say he's a cool dude  who will do a children's series episode or two for Disney, even with his fear of woodchippers.
Before he broke into acting, he held various low-paying jobs, such as stand-up comedy, working in an ice cream truck, and saving kittens out of trees wearing a fireman hat. He turned to acting when one kitten did something to his face.
Buscemi got his big break in the film industry in the independent feature Reservoir Dogs, directed by Quentin Tarantino. Buscemi's character Mr. Pussy was the only survivor in the movie. To make up for this fact, the Coen Brothers have subsequently killed every character Buscemi has played for them. It was rumored, at one point, that they killed Buscemi himself, but it turned out they had only paralyzed him from the neck down.
In 2002 while shooting a movie
we will not discuss, Buscemi saved Vince Vaughn's life during a bar fight. After realizing what he had done, he immediately apologized to the world and agreed to pay the city Vaughn lives in his salary for a year to compensate Vaughn's continued struggles in the comedy business as a non-comedian.
Is credited for popularizing the Cincinnati bow tie.
The Actor of Death
In his film, stage, and TV career Buscemi has been shot, burned, put through a woodchipper, shot again, and suffered from a heart attack caused by Austrian Nihilists. Somehow, he survived them all except for the woodchipper, after which his brain and heart were put into a metal casing like Robocop. Sadly, he did not finish his career of deaths in Robocop-style (i.e., being drowned in toxic waste and driven over by a John Travolta imitator). This left his death career unfinished, and opened the door for other creepy-looking people to be gruesomely executed, for entertainment purposes only.
- His interviews on The Howard Stern Show best shows him in a cool dude state
- Before this event, he used to look just like George Clooney
- He doesn't care though, he's cool like that
- Hell, who doesn't?
- Nobody will give him credit for it unless he dies in at least fifty more films
- Reservoir Dogs (1992) as Creepy Looking Guy
- Slaves and Kings of New York (1992) as Creepy Looking Guy
- Things to Do in Denver When you Don't Just Give A Shit Anymore (1994) as Creepy Looking Guy
- Don't Piss of Your Big Psychotic Swedish Friend (1996) as Creepy Looking Guy Who Went Through the Woodchipper, a.k.a 'Little Guy Kinda Funny-Looking In A General Kind Of Way'
- ConAir (1997) as Garland Green
- The Big Lebowitz (1998) as Creepy Looking Guy Who Went Through the Woodchipper
- Bruce Willis and his Cooky Space Crew! (1998) as Creepy Looking Guy
- That Movie I Said We Weren't Going to Discuss Damn it! (2002) as Creepy Looking Guy
- Spy Kids: Spy Another Day (2004) as Creepy Looking Guy
- Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johannson are Hott Clones (2005) as Creepy Looking Guy
- Sonic the Hedgehog (in production) as unnamed Creepy Looking Guy