Steven Tyler

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Tyler after the now-famous botched lip augmentation.
Steven "The Demon of Screamin'" Tyler
Biographical information
Physical description
Species

Half man, 1/4 hyena, 1/4 goldfish

Gender

Rumored to be male

Hair color

Soft and womanly

Chronological and political information
Era(s)

Since time began

Affiliation

Aeroshit

  [Source]
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“Dude looks like a lady.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Steven Tyler

“An ape unsuccessful in turning to a human”

~ Random scientist on Steven Tyler

“It is not true. My lips are ummm...thicker, you know?”

~ John Frusciante on Steven Tyler

“Walk this way, talk this way”

~ Steven Tyler on drugs

Early Life[edit]

Steven Tyler was born Steven Harrison Reed Boston Tyleriskiof on 24 August a while back and had no eyes. During his tenure his biggest reforms were to add naked ladies to the metropolitan transportation system and putting pictures of famous ladies on everybodies backs without them knowing. In 1939 he had an empiti... empi... I cant pronounce it, but he had a idea. Later that year he changed his name to Harrison Reed and formed a classical musical quartet that eventually became known as Herman’s Hermits. In 1972 the other three members of the band quit and were replaced by paleontologist Norman Jones. Mr. Jones completely changed the sound of the band when he added instruments.

Aerosmith, Makers of the Great Hammer[edit]

Later in the 1970s, he met one of the original Magi, Joe Perry. Together they unleashed a sonic musical beast known as Aerosmith.
Aerosmith is known for hits such as "Ain't That a Bitch" (Yahyah/gehttalibbatdea/YAYA gibbilattadeh), and "Deuces Are Wild" (Aaaah/yabbitalooone/Aaah/Yibbittalone/Ahh/I love to look into your big brown eyes...) along with many other hit songs rich with lyrics like this, that make you really think.

Personal Life[edit]

Reinventing himself, in 1985 he changed his name to Steven Tyler and joined the rap trio Run-D.M.C. He has since retired from music and lives in Canada, spending his free time going to ballet performances for the shoes and trimming his prize winning cabbage.
In the late 80's, he discovered that he may be the father of then preteen Liv Rundgren. Liv was so excited that she then changed her name to Liv Tyler, but after a DNA test was conducted, it turned out that Steven really isn't Liv's father after all. It turned out to be good publicity though, so Liv kept the last name Tyler anyway. Aragorn regardless thinks this is epicly kickass, and he regualy goes fishing and orc slaying with Tyler, his father in law.

Scandal[edit]

In the July of 1997 Steven Tyler was charged with stuffing small animals into his mouth. When questioned about this, he replied, "PMMFMMMMFMFFFFM". He was dismissed of the charges when bandmate, Brad Whitford walked into the courtroom. The Judge and Jury convicted Whitford of attemped murder on various Hannah Barbara characters and nicknamed him "Elmer Fud(d".

Quotes[edit]

"Dude, I'm NOT a lady!"-Steven Tyler on being called a lady
"Bret Michaels is the one that looks like a lady!"-Steven on being called a lady
"Dude! Stop saying that!"-Steven Tyler on being called a lady again "DUDE! I'M GONNA STAPLE YOUR BALLS TO YOUR FACE IF YOU DON'T STOP CALLING ME A LADY!"-Steven Tyler threatening a reporter while he was out on the town on a Friday night. DUDE, YOU PIECE OF AMPHIBIAN SHIT! I WARNED YOU WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, DIDN'T I? I KICKE YOUR FUCKING ASS, NOW I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR GODDAMN DICK & BALLS OFF SO THAT I"M GOING TO FRY THEM & JAM IT UP YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS FOR GOOD!- Steven Tyler threatening same reporter after a Friday night out on the town.

Did You Know?[edit]

  • 13 tons of rubber are extracted annually from Tyler's lips and used for good causes, including safety surfacing for some 1,500 children's play areas in devoloping nations.
  • Steven Tyler has been confused with Mick Jagger on more than one occasion.
  • Steven Tyler's lips are the reason that .whaling. is no longer legal. All the uses for whale blubber have been found by harvesting the blubber from Tyler.
  • If you look carefully, you can see Steven Tyler's junk in every Aeroshit video.
  • Steven Tyler is NOT the singer for Hinder.
  • Steven Tyler is a firm believer in Hitler-ism.
  • Despite all the mockery he receives because of his lips, women of the world still want to whip out his Big Ten Inch Record.
  • Steven Tyler & Mick Jagger are in no way related to each other, but share the same piehole in public.
  • Steven Tyler's music contains Satanic messages when played forward.
  • Steven Tyler's singing can demolish a skyscraper in ten seconds flat.

See Also[edit]