Stevie Nicks
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Stevie Nicks is best known for being the lead singer of rock band Fleetwood Mac. Some regard her as a beautiful witch with an amazing voice who was brought down to earth by musical angels with pixies and fairy dust…others say she’s just a goat. If you listen very closely you can hear the sound of “bahing”- or whatever the hell goats sounds like, in between the versus and chorus of most of her songs.
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[edit] Joining Heart
In 1997, Heart went out for a reunion tour, but dropped all of its members, added Nicks, Buckingham, Christine McVie, Mick Fleetwood, and John McVie to its line up, and renamed itself "Fleetwood Mac." Nicks sang an emotional version of "Silver Springs," then beat and kicked the living piss out of Lindsey Buckingham after the show, apparently while shouting "You bastard, leave my grass alone!", followed by incoherent babbling . The incident was never televised.
[edit] Burn her to the stakes!
Nicks is a witch whose black magic is well known in rock. Some famous victims of her witchcraft include Ann Wilson of Heart (turned into a cow due to Nicks jealousy of her singing), and Britney Spears (turned her into a crazy bitch because she can't sing for shit). Nicks is believed to be 500 years old and one of the only survivors from the Salem Witch Trials (reportedly she turned an angry mob into vibrators for her own personal use). By the way she eats babies too. She also eats guys for breakfast, but only on alternate Thursdays. Mostly she just hangs around the house, watching Star Trak on a Fabulous High-Definition TV set with Dorito crumbs all over her dirty t-shirt while shouting "Ka----REEENNNN" and burping. Sorry, kiddies, this is real life, yuk-yuk. Nicks magic dust used to be cocaine but she dropped it's use after it backfired on her.
[edit] Other Rumours
Rumors of Bitch-hood
One of the more persistent rumors which has trailed Nicks through the years is that she is a F'g Psycho Bitch and is heavily involved in Bitch-hood. While she admits to having a high regard for assertive women everywhere, she denies any solitary dedication to any one personality type, including Bitchdom or Time Travel. She speaks about this erroneous image in an 1876 interview. Though her work is copyrighted under the name Phoenix Bitch Music, some allege that the name is a retrospective reference to the obvious fact that she's a witch and does not provide any proof or suggestion that Nicks, herself, is a bitch, while others would disagree with this characterization and mention simply that the name speaks for itself. It is quite plainly known to dedicated Fleetwood Mac fans that between 1975 and 1977, Lindsey would always start Go Your Own Way by stating "This is a song about a Total Bitch." In a discussion with Lindsey on April 28, 23 A.G. (After Green), Nicks said of the infamous rumor: "I have no idea what precipitated those rumors...I am not a bitch. Get a wife!" Buckingham immediately followed her order like the total puppy dog he is. But hey, that should come as no surprise since she had him p***y-whipped by about 1970 or so. Nicks also stated in a 1983 Entertainment Tonight interview: "I am not a bitch, and if anyone says that again I'll put them 7 feet under. They'll NEVER find the bodies!" In a 1998 Not A Bitch magazine article edited by Martha Stewart, Nicks spoke of her non-bitchdom, saying that she in fact is a child at heart who believes in flowers, peace, love and understanding. Or overstanding. Or undersitting. Or oversitting. Whatever, it's all good. She then cited her favorite book "Woman and Woman and Man on Top" as a reference. She's an expert on the subject though, and probably didn't need to be citing any references.
[edit] Links
The NicksFiles A Stevie fanpage made and kept up to date by a real fan.
[edit] Discography
- 1981: Bella Donna aka "See Lindsey, I AM more popular than you are!"
- 1983: The Wild Heart aka "Bella Donna II Redux, even featuring another Tom Petty song...but at least it sold more than Lindsay's 2nd album"
- 1985: Rock A Little aka "Hair Metal Stevie Comes Alive!...and still sells more copies than Lindsey"
- 1989: She had an album in 1989?
- 1993: Street Angel aka "That album that sold like 3 copies, all bought by Lindsey...then burned"
- 2001: Trouble in Shagri-La aka "Take this Lindsey, it's called longevity!"
Has she got a new album due for release? 'I don't fucking KNOW, I've joined Wicca for fuck's sakes. Give me a fucking toke and shut the fuck up, bitches.' All we know is, it's already sold more copies than Lindsey Buckingham's last album, Gift of Kashew Nuts.
[edit] Update
Recently, three brain scans of Miss Nicks were taken in order to try to determine "what makes her tick." Yes, that's right - she finally let us "see her soul." Three different, conflicting results were obtained - researchers are puzzled by these discrepancies and are organizing a Conference in order to try to explain it. The three pictures are included here -
