Stratford On Avon

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“Ding dong, Stratford On Avon calling!”


The Great Spear-Shaker of auld was born in this quaint little Hamlet on some river or another. He then went on to write many great and missspellled works. He left his second-best bed to his wife.

The town of Stratford is less well known as the testing ground for modern ICBMs. Due to the particular density of the work of the Spear-Shaker, and the overly serious attitude of those who studied his work, the entire town of Stratford exists within warped space which comprises an area about the size of the moon. Whilst physically having such a vast area, it can be perceived from outside as only having the size of the average english town.

This bizarre spacial warping used to great effect in the testing of ICBMs during the Third World War. Vast regions of Stratford's warped land now lie uninhabited due to the devestating effects of this testing. However, the side effect has been a massive investment by Tate and Lyle. And Bird of Bird's Custard fame (hence the May Bird shopping centre). 'Strue, look it up! Stratford upon Avon now has the largest exports of any town in England.

The infamous Avon Lady is roumoured to have originated from Stratford On Avon.


It also has an unusually high level of gun crime for such a quiet area, the attackers usually migrate from Reditch due to the Ditchian's overwhelming desire to free the slums of Stratford from the reign of the Spear-shaker because his plays were so unbelievably bad. Furthermore, stratford is full of old people that give evils to any passers by.

Stacey Astell also lives in the sewer with the Alligators and likes to consume the excrement of other beings for sustenence. She occasionally makes the long sewer journey to the Ditch to meet up with her wife where they feast upon the carcass of old wrinkly people.