Subliminal

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Subliminal is a term used to describe limes that are not of sufficient quality enough to be processed into grenades. First created in 1134 by noted weapons expert and Playboy bunny Hulk Hogan, he was responsible for the creation of the Lime Potency System, which is commonly abbreviated as Liminal. According to his system, the following usually occurs when grading limes for potency:

  • When a lime is potent enough to qualify for "Superliminal" status, the limes are then shipped via llama-infested sailing vessels to the Liminal Weapons Center in Gotham City, where the Knights who say Ni then use high-grade, martini-enriched sardines to install the dangerously liminal limes into grenades. These limes are considered highly volatile, and should be carefully stored. Care should be taken that they are not stored next to Cheetos, which are known to be "dangerously cheesy".
  • "Liminial" limes that barely make the cut are sent, lemming-like, to find their own way in the universe. Thus, they either end up as bikini stuffers for notorious scalawag and international playboy Stephen Hawking, or they become even more useless, whereupon they are elected to the United States Senate.
  • "Subliminals", as described below.

Care and Feeding of Your Subliminals[edit]

In order to deal with a subliminal, the following must be done to improve its power:

  1. add something to the mix, such as grenadine or concrete.
  2. shake, not stir
  3. check for hanging or pregnant chads
  4. lend it to Vinny across the street over by the bar. He'll take good care of it for about a week or so, he promises.

After a month or so, your subliminial lime may reach standard liminal status. If it has not, then it is usually recommended to give it a decent burial. The most popular place for so-called "lemon-limes" is the hair of Don King.

See also[edit]