Subliminal Messages

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“You can't trust anybody these days.”

~ Oscar Wilde on subliminal messages.

“Now burn them, burn them all.”

~ Popular subliminal message.
Subliminal messages can be found anywhere. This, however, is just a cute little puppy in a flower pot.

Subliminal messages are secret messages that Template:/m are hidden within the context of Template:/m much larger messages, often Template:/m within a large article containing Template:/m lots of writing, which provides Template:/m adequate space in which to hide Template:/m the subliminal messages. Subliminal messages can Template:/m be anywhere, including on Uncyclopedia, Template:/m Wikipedia, and even Template:/m Google.

There are two predominant kinds of Template:/m subliminal messages. There are those that Template:/m are direct commands, and those that Template:/m are insinuations. Template:/m

Subliminal messages were first discovered in 1966 by Dr. Alan Alda[1], who found himself unaccountably compelled to sleep with his girlfriend's sister after reading subliminal beatnik messages in Allen Ginsberg's Howl.

Direct Commands[edit]

Direct commands in subliminal messages Template:/m are intended to make the subject Template:/m immediately execute the command, without Template:/m any thought about it whatsoever. Template:/m For someone to Template:/m actually perform these commands is Template:/m rare, as it requires Template:/m a type of mental breakdown Template:/m that Template:/m doesn't frequently happen. Template:/m

File:PEPSI.JPG

Insinuations[edit]

Insinuations, on the other Template:/m hand, only provide a minuscule hint that Template:/m attempts to convince Template:/m the subject into Template:/m executing the desired command after Template:/m some train of thought. The results may not be Template:/m immediate, but they are often more Template:/m convincing, and have a higher Template:/m success rate than direct Template:/m commands.

Nonsense[edit]

There is a third kind of Template:/m subliminal message, but since it Template:/m carries no noticeable danger with Template:/m it, it is often Template:/m disregarded. These types of Template:/m subliminal messages usually bear Template:/m no structure, and are possibly used as Template:/m a comic outlet. They are almost always Template:/m harmless to people, save those who Template:/m are offended by such Template:/m vulgar language. Template:/m

Practical uses[edit]

There are many practical uses for subliminal messages, one notable example of this is the use of said messages in conversation in order to get the object of which to comply with the messenger's whim, for example a man talking to an attractive woman might say 'this is a tasty sandwich' and thus place in her mind the image of his 'TESTES SANDWICH' and thus surely heighten her libido to incommensurable levels.

Susceptibility[edit]

You may be susceptible to Template:/m subliminal messages and not even know it. If you find Template:/m yourself doing anything out of Template:/m the ordinary, and you don't Template:/m understand why, you may Template:/m be suffering from Subliminal MessTemplate:/mages. There is no known Template:/m treatment, but brain scientists are Template:/m working on a potential solution for the Template:/m future.Template:/m

How do you know if something has subliminal messages?[edit]

To find subliminal messages, Template:/m you Template:/m will need to Template:/m look very hard. Try Template:/m looking at it backwards, playing it backwards and various tests.

What to do if anyone tries to reveal messages to you or your family and friends.[edit]

Immediately wait for help in the form of anyone who is not a part of the government, as those who are a part are all evil and most likely displayed the messages to you in the first place. If help comes, run for your dear life, but be warned: there is no place to save yourself from the evil subliminal messages. Template:/m

Subliminal Messaging in Extreme Sports[edit]

Skateboarding has often been attacked because of the Template:/m words written on the underside of Template:/m the boards. Amazingly, a nanosecond-long glance at Template:/n these words can cause an effect similar to those of Template:/m conventional subliminal messages. Also, the sport of dirt biking has been blamed for utilizing the messages by showing every, or close to every, name of the products that you use almost every day on the sides of the bikes, or making the track in the shape of a popular logo. The use of these methods often goes unnoticed. Template:/m

An oddly non-alphabetized list of countries that use subliminal messages for everything[edit]


References[edit]

  1. The Sly Persuaders: How Advertisers Take Over Your Mind and How You Too Can Do It! Heckel & Co., 1967