Sunny D
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“Unleash the power of the sun!”
~ a Sunny D commercial on the product it's advertising
“I have tried this beverage sir and I can assure you it was neither sunny, nor delightful. It tasted of boars piss.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Sunny D
Sunny Delight is a drink which pretends to taste like orange juice but as you surely have noticed if you'd ever taken a sip: It does not! Actually it's liquid yellow coloured sugar. The interesting thing about it, is the question of how they make the sugar liquid even if the drink is cold... Some suggest that there is actually juice in it... or at least water but still only few want to believe in that story.
Contents |
[edit] Background History
| |
| Type | Orange drink |
|---|---|
| Manufacturer | David Sunny |
| Country of origin | Florida Everglades, United States |
| Introduced | 1964 |
| Ingredients | Vegatable Oil, Year Old Piss, Sugar, Salt, Arsenic (may conatain 1% Orange Juice) |
| Warning | Substitute for alcoholic beverage (if under age 18) |
Sunny D was first put into production by the Florida multi-trillionaire Mr. David Sunny. He invented Sunny D whilst attempting to invent a new brand of rocket fuel and as always he would experiment naked because he thought it helped him think clearer. So in a way Sunny D was mostly mostly made by accident. David was trying to mix together arsenic and salt to see if it would asplode. Whilst stirring the concoction he sneezed and had a little piss and by pure luck it landed into the mixture.
David decided to go to the toilet before he pissed all over the floor and when he came back he was surprised to see his little son, David Jr., drinking from the test tube. David Senior was in shock when his son turned to him and said "You know dad, this would taste better with orange juice in".
So that is the story about how Sunny D was made. And now over uhm... lots of billions of the drink has been bought and consumed. And so far only 2 million people have died with the arsenic poisoning. This type of death is commonly known as Pneumonia.
[edit] Evolution
As you may know by now Sunny D was originally 'Orange' flavour. But due to 'popular' demand the flavour range was expanded. Below is a list of flavours and their main ingredients.
- Smooth (California Style)= Rams Piss
- Mango = Cillit Bang
- Lemonade = Female Human Breast Milk
- Tangy Original with Calcium = Cum
- Fruit Punch = Menstural Blood
- Reduced Sugar Sunny D = Exactly The Same As Original
[edit] Ingredients
Although SunnyD had tried to be less sugary and reduced sugar so that the new drink has 50% less calories than the original, it still is as healthy as potassium cyanide and as tasty as very sweet phlegm.
SunnyD started some lame attemps making it taste differently by giving it different names and adding even more sugar but fail very obviously for the sugar was just as sweet as ever.
- 9% Vegatable Oil
- 30% Year Old Piss
- 10% Sugar
- 10% Salt
- 9% Arsenic
- .01% Orange Juice
- 15% Napalm
- 20% Crystal Meth
- 18% Human
- 2% Vagisil
- 4% Mystery Meat
