Sunshine (film)

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Sunshine is a 2007 remake of The Space Odyssey 2001, 2010, and the Cube 2. Tag line: “3 in 1”. Some critics have claimed that the film is a cheap copy of the film "Dark Star", but played for laughs.

Plot (for normal people):[edit]

This image has little to do with the plot, but then, neither does the film.

The year is 2054. The War on Terror is drawing to an epic close with glorious USA & Coalition of the Willing mopping up last remains of dirty muslim terrorists and their rogue-state sponsors. In that mopping operation the glorious democratic United States Air Force is left with little to bomb - having already bombed every point of the Earth back to the Ice age. So the Airforce personnel began vocal demands for some more jocky action - preferably something unseen before – threatening to defect to the terrorists if the demands are not met.

This did not concern the Deciders in Washington much, since all airfields in enemy controlled areas had long been obliterated (even though they contained 0 aircraft), but the rapid stock value decrease for the military aircraft-producing companies that the Deciders were major shareholders of did. So, after some phonecalls the CIA suddenly reported a huge WMD storage on the Sun.

After buying some NASA stocks as well, and to much USAF delight, the Deciders had the ultimate super-duper-ultra-mega-giga-awesome bomb designed, loaded on a huge spaceship (named Icarus 1) and sent to the Sun to do some serious liberation.

The construction of both the ship and the bomb took 10 years. However, once the space ship was away, those stocks began losing value again, and unfortenutely the Deciders were too busy to sell them before lift-off. So, once the ship entered the non-communication zone near the Sun they hit the navigational-computer-self-destruct button, which effectively destroyed the mission, and began constructing another spaceship (Icarus 2)and bomb. Needless to say the stock values jumped again. Each Decider also had a reminder made on his cell phone to sell the stocks before lift-off this time.

So the movie follows the advantures of the glorious USAF and NASA personnel of the second ship on their awesome mission.

A minute of blast observation in the designated observatories costs 1.000.000 USD. Cheques not acceptable. Only cash or oil.

Plot for nerds:[edit]

SUN:
F6
ENTERING BIOS
SET PRIMARY BOOT UNIT: DA BOMB
SAVE&EXIT
REBOOT.

Characters[edit]

Corazon: Ship’s Taiwanese cleaning lady also responsible for watering the plants.

Cassie: USAF pilot of the Icarus 2. She got the job through some extensive femminist lobbying, as the group wanted to debunk the long-proven fact that females are inferior drivers.

Searle: A guy with a name that is pronounced “Sorrow” is chosen to be a psichyatrist tasked with lifting a spirit of a severely depressed crew on a near-suicide mission. Ten points for the choice.

Mace: Since the USAF partially funded the movie the guy that always ends up being right must be a USAF member. But in the end: The annoying guy has to dieOscar Wilde

Pinbacker: Commander of the Icarus 1. Enjoys sunbathing and destroying mankind. Hates to wipe dust. Was in dire need of Head & Shoulders shampoo for 7 years. In Soviet Russia pin backs YOU!

Kaneda: Commander of the Icarus 2. Being Japanese he possesses 1337 karate skilz which would have made a short work of Pinbacker so he had to be killed early in the movie so the ending can be dramatic.

Trey: Since the republicans partially funded the movie the communist guy had to screw up.

Harvey: After all, a really cool guy.

Cappa: The Australian physicist of Icarus 2. Also the most humane member of the crew: In order to prevent another US invasion of some innocent country in search for oil that would be needed to build a third Icarus in case the mission fails, he suggests a detour to try and salvage Icarus1 to improve chances of success.


Scientific inaccuracies[edit]

The movie was criticised for it's scientific innacuracies which include:

The oxygen garden producing oxygen - Since it is dark in space the plants would assume it is nighttime and actually use up the oxygen.

An Aussie never shown to drink beer – pure SF

Lack of Alf, ET, The Alien, Kang, Kodos, or at least Marvin the Martian (on a summer holiday on Mercury).

The claim that “we mined all Earth’s fossil material in order to build two “Icarus” ships”. Since spaceships run on neither gasoline nor diesel but on solid hydrogen wtf r u talkin’ about?

Kaneda could not possibly have died from the exterior hull repair scene depicted in the movie, as it is a well know fact that the Japanese use the Sun to power their devastating Kamehameha attack.

Capa, the ship's physicist was claimed to be able to eat a carrot through his nose which leads experts to say that it is pure SF since Capa is being hit in the nose by Mace during their disagreement fight scene. The actual punch was a surgically precise rhinoplasty procedure on Capa's face shrinking its nostrils. Given the latter size of the physicist's nostrils, consuming a carrot through the nasal cavities is completely impossible and any contradictory scenes are pure computer generated effects.

Trivia[edit]

There were actually 12 negros on the ship (rowers and so) but they were impossible to spot against the space background.

Kaneda has a role in Rush Hour 3 which depicts him as a Japanese brother of a Chinese health inspector, paired with amateur basketball player disguised as an L.A Police officer.


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