Super Friends

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Super Friends.

Banding together to protect the world from the forces of evil, and from evil pancakes, the SuperFriends are the first super team to have "minority" members (this was actually cause Black Vulcan threatened to get Johnnie Cochran and sue the SuperFriends for refusing his membership earlier and make them seem like racists).

Members[edit]

Superman[edit]

Main article: Superman
Look up in the sky! It's Brian Boitano!

Among the most powerful superheroes in the world, second only to Jesus, Superman enforces his leadership of the SuperFriends with an iron fist, and kills anyone who dares undermine his authority.

Batman[edit]

Main article: Batman

One of the only members without super powers, Batman makes up for it by having a kickass car, an assload of money, and scoring with the ladies. He is currently banging Wonder Woman.

Check out this bling bling, ladies!

Wonder Woman[edit]

Main article: Wonder Woman

An outright slut, Wonder Woman only joined the Superfriends just to get her mother to shut up about her not having a man in her life. Currently she's doing it with Batman.

Aquaman[edit]

Main article: Aquaman

The most useless member of the team, Aquaman is only on the team so the other members can feel good about themselves. Surely, there's no one more useless then Aquaman.

Robin[edit]

Main article: Robin

Batman's homo sidekick, Robin soooooooo wants to bang Aquaman. He is currently seeing Zac Efron.

I'm comin' Zac baby!

Green Lantern[edit]

Main article: Green Lantern

Just some guy with a ring, not much else

the Flash[edit]

Main article: The Flash

The Fastest Man Alive, the Flash is the only person to outrun Superman, and still brags about it to this day. He can also bang Lois Lane faster than Superman, ooooooohhhhh!

Hawkman[edit]

Apparently I was wrong about there being no one worse than Aquaman, as Hawkman's only power is flying, which makes him pretty easy to beat. His real name is Katar Hol, and he's a cop from this place called Thanagar, where everyone has giant bird like wings coming out of their backs. Somehow, he still considers this a superpower, and it is because of this that he never wins a fight.

Apache Chief[edit]

Apache Chief was this guy who was given the ability to grow fifty feet tall by shouting "Enuck Chuck (Death to white people)!" via "magic powder", and was told to use his newfound powers to get back at white people for taking his people's land from them. By joining the SuperFriends, Apache Chief was almost close to completing his plan to wipe out all the white people, but was kicked out of the SuperFriends for his constant flashing at his giant size.

Apache Chief, ready to take back his people's land from the white skinned devils.

Samurai[edit]

Samurai was once a Japanese history teacher, until Buddah gave him magic powers. With the abilities to turn into or control the wind, turn invisible, self immolation, and the power to cast illusions, as well as a super sized penis,and donning a really revealing costume, Samurai joined the SuperFriends, and was the first man to get his ass whooped by Wonder Woman for trying to harrass her awesome boobage (plus she was already dating Batman). He is currently dating Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls.

Black Vulcan[edit]

As mentioned above, Black Vulcan threatned to sue the SuperFriends for denying him membership due to his skin color. The real reason they didn't let him in was because he was ripping off an already existing superhero called Black Lightning, who had the same electrokinetic powers, and if they let him in, Black Lightning would sue them too. Sadly, Black Vulcan died in when Spongebob Squarepants anally raped him, then shot him in the head.

Hey, there's the guy that killed Black Vulcan! LET'S LYNCH HIM!

MC Hammer[edit]

Following Black Vulcan's mortifying death, MC Hammer took his place. What makes him the Greatest SuperFriend of all is that no one, not even Superman, can beat him when it's HAMMER TIME!

Other members[edit]

meet the guy who kicked Superman's ass!
Shaq's one bad mutha SHUT YO' MOUTH! I'm only talkin' 'bout Shaq!

Enemies[edit]

  • WordGirl (another superhero, probably because they came from another planet, not Lexxie)